As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon:

• Central Florida @ Michigan (ABC): This weekend has one of the worst schedules I think we’ve ever had in all the years we’ve been doing this, so don’t be surprised if some of these picks are a bit rapid fire. In addition, I’m going to be at a wedding most of the day and I basically didn’t see anything that happened last week, so… yeah. Let’s start here: Michigan.
• Pennsylvania State @ Pittsburgh (ESPN): On the one hand, this is one of the better games this weekend. It’s the resumption of a series where the two teams have met 96 times in the past yet haven’t played each other since 2000. Yet my fear is that the score will similar now to what it was then: 12-0, Pitt.
• Wyoming @ Nebraska (ESPN2): Might be worth checking in on just to see what Wyoming’s wearing. Only so much you can do with white, brown, and yellow, y’all, and most of it isn’t good.
• Central Michigan @ Oklahoma State (FS1): Cowboys.
• North Carolina State @ East Carolina (ESPNU): This… could be close? I don’t think is expecting the Wolfpack to be world-beaters or anything this season, but ECU is always one of those teams that can be pesky on occasion. Both demolished some patsies last week, so, uh, going with the default here.
• Rice @ Army (CBSS): The last time Army won two games in a row was 2010, when they beat North Texas and Duke on consecutive weeks. And hey, Temple was definitely the hearder of these two, so sure, why not.
• Cincinnati @ Purdue (BTN): Cincy.

12:30: Troy @ Clemson (ACC): Clemson.

2:00: Utah State @ Southern California (Pac12): I never really though USC would beat Alabama, but I thought that they had, you know, the talent to at least make a game of it. Whoops. At any rate, that talent should serve them much better against these Aggies.

2:30: Ohio @ Kansas (FSN): Kansas beat Rhode Island 55-6 last week, which makes me wonder if they’ll be as awful as everyone’s expecting. Ohio is a step up, but Kansas has a pretty good shot of winning back-to-back games for the first time since 2011.

3:00: Mercer @ Georgia Tech (espn3.com): Being at PAX, I definitely was not even remotely able to see this game, which kicked at 4:30 AM local time here on the West Coast. This one is much more palatable! I can read articles and statistics, though, so this week I’m looking for better blocking on the line and by the backs.

3:30:

• Tulsa @ Ohio State (ABC): Buckeyes.
• Nevada @ Notre Dame (NBC): Irish.
• Kentucky @ Florida (CBS): Sure, Florida wasn’t great last week, but… Kentucky lost to Southern Mississippi last weekend. Whoops! I suspect I’ll get to have a longer writeup about how Kentucky hasn’t won this game since 1986 again next year.
• Western Kentucky @ Alabama (ESPN2): Considering all the SEC upsets last weekend, the “THEY SUPPOSED TO BE SEC” meme got unearthed again last weekend, and the school that provided us that wonderful .gif was… Western Kentucky! However much I think these Hilltoppers are game, though, boy howdy ‘Bama sure did take Southern Cal to the woodshed last week, so I don’t think there exists a limb long enough for me to go out there to pick WKU.
• Southern Methodist @ Baylor (FS1): Baylor.
• Wake Forest @ Duke (ESPNU): Duke.
• Connecticut @ Navy (CBSS): Navy.
• Akron @ Wisconsin (BTN): Wisconsin.

4:00: Ball State @ Indiana (ESPNEWS): Indiana.

5:00: Idaho @ Washington (Pac12): UDub.

7:00:

• Arkansas @ Texas Christian (ESPN): If this were November, I’d probably say Arkansas. But, well, with the style of play they have, it really takes a lot of effort to get that mass rolling and it’s just too early in the season at this point.
• South Carolina @ Mississippi State (ESPN2): Oooof. So… this is a game featuring a team coached by Will Muschamp that needed to get kind of lucky to beat Vanderbilt and a team that lost to South Alabama. Well, one of them still has Dak Prescott, though… I’ll hold my nose and take Miss State.
• Northern Illinois @ South Florida (CBSS): USF.

7:30:

• Brigham Young @ Utah (FOX): The Holy War is back, and boy howdy, it’s the best game on this slate by a long-shot. The Utes took a relatively gentle approach to their Week 1 opponent and won 24-0 against a FCS team. Meanwhile, BYU kind of quietly beat Arizona 18-16, at least as quietly as you can beat anyone on a last second field goal. And so, this looks to be a fun matchup and I have no idea which way it’s going to go. The Utes are on a 5 game winning streak in this series, which is perhaps indicative of the increase in quality they’ve had since joining the Pac-12. On the flip side, like I said earlier, BYU just beat a Pac-12 team, and one that wasn’t expected to be terrible or anything. So, why, not, let’s go with the Stormin’ Mormons here.
• Arkansas State @ Auburn (SECN): I don’t think that Auburn is in any danger to falling to this Arkansas State team, which is only slightly more removed from their Guz Malzahn glory days than Auburn is. Seriously, I can’t help but read this article about Chip Kelly and wonder if the same applies to Malzahn.
• North Carolina @ Illinois (BTN): Carolina.
• Iowa State @ Iowa (BTN): This won’t even be on TV here, but I feel compelled to talk about it anyway. For starters, for as utterly awful as the Cyclones have been basically… forever, this game has been relatively close over the past 10 plus years, give or take a few. Now factor in Kirk Ferentz’s utterly insane contract extension, and yeah, at a minimum, I don’t think Iowa’s covering that 15 points.

8:00:

• Virginia Tech vs. Tennessee (@Bristol, TN; ABC): It’s in the middle of a racetrack, so I guess there’s some novelty there. Otherwise, meh. Vols.
• Nevada-Las Vegas @ California-Los Angeles (Pac12): UCLA.

10:15: Washington State @ Boise State (ESPN2): Wazzou losing to a FCS team from the Pacific Northwest is becoming something of a tradition, but I think they’ll be in an 0-2 hole after a visit to the blue turf.

10:30:

• Virginia @ Oregon (ESPN): Oregon’s not what they used to be, but did you know Virginia lost to Richmond last weekend? That’s not a good look, as the kids say.
• California @ San Diego State (CBSS): Cal’s defense is beyond awful, but is it awful enough to prop up the Aztecs’ moribund offense? We’re about to find out! I’m going to be lame and take Cal, though.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Saturday

7:30: Georgia Tech vs. Boston College (@Dublin, Ireland; ESPN2): And here we are, my team, right here off the top, leading off the season, yet on the one weekend a year I can’t really watch. There’s not a whole lot that could have gone a lot worse for us last year. The beginning of a new season of any sport is always an opportunity for unfettered optimism. I know this, and yet, I find myself not too worried about this Tech. Sure, a lot of it is from the “well, it sure as hell can’t be worse” perspective, but there’s also the old college football saying “the best thing about freshmen is that they eventually becomes sophomores”, and this is a team that can definitely be applied to.
BC are, of course, not slouches themselves. They had a legitimately great defense last year coupled with an unbelievably incompetent offense. This game could well be a chess match, and for those of you able to watch it, just keep that in mind.
Note: the rest of the picks are going to be pretty rapid fire, I just ran out of time. Sorry.

Noon:

• Oklahoma vs. Houston (@Houston, TX; ABC): Going with the Sooners, but it’s hard to understate the importance of this game. Surprised it’s at 11:00am locla time.
• Hawaii @ Michigan (ESPN): Michigan.
• Missouri @ West Virginia (FS1): West Virginia.
• Western Michigan @ Northwestern (ESPNU): They may well row the boat across Lake Michigan, but… yeah. Northwestern.
• South Alabama @ Mississippi State (SEC): Miss State.

2:00: Rutgers @ Washington (Pac12): Washington.

3:30:

• Louisiana State @ Wisconsin (@Green Bay, WI; ABC): LSU, but it’d be really funny the other way around, right?
• California-Los Angeles @ Texas A&M (CBS): UCLA.
• Miami @ Iowa (FSN): Iowa (since this is the MAC Miami)
• Texas State @ Ohio (CBSS): Ohio.

4:00: Louisiana Tech @ Arkansas (SEC): Arkansas.

5:30: North Carolina vs. Georgia (@Atlanta, GA; ESPN): Georgia, but whoo boy, it’d be create if the Tar Heels could do it.

7:00: San Jose State @ Tulsa (CBSS): Tulsa.

7:30:

• Southern Mississippi @ Kentucky (ESPNU): Kentucky.
• Massachusetts @ Florida (SEC): Florida.

8:00:

• Southern California vs. Alabama (@Arlington, TX; ABC): Alabama.
• Fresno State @ Nebraska (BTN): Nebraska
• New Mexico State @ Texas-El Paso (beIN): UTEP.

9:00: Clemson @ Auburn (ESPN): Clemson.

10:30:

• Brigham Young vs. Arizona (@Glendale, AZ; FS1): Arizona.
• Northern Illinois @ Wyoming (CBSS): NIU.

Sunday

7:30: Notre Dame @ Texas (ABC): Notre Dame

Monday

8:00: Florida State vs. Mississippi (@Orlando, FL; ESPN): FSU.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Friday, August 26
10:00: Hawaii vs. California (@Sydney, Australia; ESPN): It’s the first game of American football that counts for anything since last February, and really, that’s all that really needs to be said about this game.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon: Northern Iowa @ North Dakota State (NCAA Division I Quaterfinal; ESPN): It’ll be 34 degrees at kickoff in Fargo, but no matter, since the Bison (pronounced: bizon) play in the FARGODOME. At any rate, these two Missouri Valley opponents met back in October and the Bison rallied then to win 31-28. What will happen here? Tune to find out, because it’ll probably be more competitive than the only other televised game today.

3:00: Army vs. Navy (@Philadelphia, PA; CBS): Army is 2-9. Their only victories on the season are over an equally awful Eastern Michigan squad and Bucknell, which went 4-6 otherwise in FCS play. Navy, meanwhile, finished 9-2 with a pretty legitimate shot to play for a conference title game. I have to think hard questions are being asked up in West Point about what it would take for the USMA to field a competitive football team again. Surely people who have paid closer attention than I have are asking: how are Navy and Air Force (who played for the Mountain West title) succeeding where Army has failed? After all, the Black Knights were in Conference USA from 1998 through 2004, and they weren’t challenging for any conference titles then. The last time Army had consecutive seasons where they finished .500 or better were 1988 though 1990. Since then, they’ve done so three times, most recently in 2010. The last time they beat Air Force was 2012, Navy, 2001. Suffice it to say, I’m not giving the Cadets much of a chance here.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Friday
8:00: Northern Illinois vs. Bowling Green (Mid-American Conference Championship @ Detroit, MI; ESPN2): This is NIU’s sixth straight appearance in the game, and the third straight year we’ve had the same matchup. Bowling Green won 47-27 two years ago, and last year was a blowout the other way. This year, I’m expecting a slim, but sold, Bowling Green victory.

Saturday
Noon:

• Temple @ Houston (American Athletic Conference Championship; ABC): The winner of this game is probably still in line for that Group of Five bid, but Temple probably dodged a bullet with Toledo’s loss to Western Michigan last week. Either way, I still like Houston a ton here.
• Texas @ Baylor (ESPN): It’ll be raining again for the Bears Saturday, but mercifully it the temperatures will be around 30-35 degrees warmer. I suspect they will complete more than zero passes in the second half in this one and get a comfortable victory over the Longhorns.
• Southern Mississippi @ Western Kentucky (Conference USA Championship; ESPN2): These were far away the best teams in Conference USA this year, and it’s been a hell of a turnaround for the Golden Eagles especially. However, it looks like the buck will stop here, as the Hilltoppers have simply been ultra-dominant in conference this year.

4:00: Florida vs. Alabama (Southeastern Conference Championship @ Atlanta, GA; CBS): With Treon Harris, the Gators maybe stand a chance, without, it’s somewhere between “zero” and “none”.

4:30: West Virginia @ Kansas State (FS1): While the Mountaineers aren’t great or anything, K-State has simply been too dysfunction on offense too often this season. Then again, it won’t take much magic for them to get a win, but I’m not betting on it.

7:30: Air Force @ San Diego State (Mountain West Conference Championship; ESPN2): The Aztecs have outscored their conference opponents by 199 points this season, so I’m going with them.

7:45: Stanford vs. Southern California (Pacific-12 Conference Championship @ Santa Clara, CA; ESPN): Without traffic, this game is taking place about a 10 minute drive from my house. Of course, the game’s also at 4:45 local time here, so it’s not like it’d interfere with anything, but still. That aside, I would say this is a pretty lackluster matchup for the Pac-12. Sure, there’s names here, but these two have five losses between them and there’s only the Rose Bowl at stake (unless things get wacky). (Also, somewhere, somehow, old-school Pac-8 and Big Ten fans just cringed at the notion of “just the Rose Bowl”.) Oregon sullied both these teams with Vernon Adams’s late season resurgence, but the Ducks really did a number on the Trojans. Meanwhile, Stanford just pulled a rabbit in the form of a last-second victory over mutual rival Notre Dame out of their hat. I like the Cardinal a little more here.

8:00:

• Clemson vs. North Carolina (Atlantic Coast Conference Championship @ Charlotte, NC; ABC): Even if the Tar Heels had beaten South Carolina back in September, they would still occupy that Iowa “not as good as their record” space. Simply put, this isn’t really an even matchup, and the Tigers should roll.
• Iowa vs. Michigan State (Big Ten Conference Championship @ Indianapolis, IN; FOX): I don’t know what the over/under is for this game, but take the under. Let me put it this way: this game puts perhaps the most uninspiring major conference undefeated team ever in Iowa versus a team with, granted, only one loss but led for zero seconds in their signature wins. (I’d say 9 times out of 10, Ohio State wins that game, but Michigan-Michigan State was a coin flip.) None of that matters now, of course, they’re here, and they’re going to play each other for a spot in the playoff. Both these teams can score when the mood strikes them, but in contests against teams with defenses of similar caliber of their own the games have been tight, gritty, gray sky, three yards and a cloud of dust Big Ten football. I’m going with Sparty to win, say, 12-9 or something like that.