Let’s do this.

Noon

• Virginia @ Duke (LF Sports): CRIPPLE FIGHT!!! Seriously, Duke stands a good chance of winning this one. Virginia can’t move the ball to save their lives.
• Toledo @ Pitt (ESPNU): I don’t really hae anything to say about this one. Go Rockets?
• Tennessee @ Memphis (ESPN): So, wait, a dominant state power agreed to actually play at a lesser school’s home stadium? Heck, they agreed to play them at all? Amazing, but call me when Alabama or Auburn go to UAB or Troy.
• Wisconsin @ Indiana (ESPN2): Go badgers, I guess.

12:30

• Mississippi State @ Louisiana State (LF Sports): MSU, no chance to survive, etc., etc.
• Colorado @ Missouri (FSN): 16 years ago, on October 6, 1990, an event happened that almost never happens in college football. Colorado was down 31-27 on their last chance drive at Misouri. Their national title hopes hung in the balance – at the time, they were 3-1-1. Someway, somehow, Colorado was granted a 5th down. Pay careful attention when CU gets to 1st and Goal – they spike on first down, but they don’t increment the downs, so they run again on first down, and then on 2nd. They spike again 3rd (really 4th) down, and score the winning touchdown (disputable) on 4th (really 5th) down. And people thought those Oklahoma-Oregon guys were incompenent.
  Why am I ranting about this? Well, another team went 11-0-1 that year. That was Bobby Ross’s Georgia Tech squad. Tech finished first in the UPI (now the AP) Poll, CU finished first in the coach’s poll. Yeah, that’s right – a team that a) lost a game and b) needed a 5th down to win another somehow got a share of a national title. Amazing. Because of the bowl situation back then, CU and GT never had a chance to play on the field.

2:30 – Purdue @ ND (NBC): ND probably wins. I’m really pissed off now after watching that video.
3:30

• Alabama @ Florida (CBS): UF should roll here. Alabama didn’t look good at all at Arkansas.
• Georgia Tech @ Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University (ABC): Yes, that really is the full expansion of Virginia Tech’s name. This is pretty much the game of the day. The ACC Coastal title is probably at stake here, and it’s tough for me to say who will win. Regardless, it won’t be 51-7 again.
• Rice @ Army (ESPNU): Go Bobby Ross and USMA!

6:00 – Houston @ Miami(FL) (ESPN2): This reminds me of that joke on Family Guy about dumb reality TV shows on FOX: “Next on FOX, ‘Fast Animals, Slow Children'”
7:00

• Southern Cal @ Washington State (TBS): USC rolls
• Louisiana Tech @ Clemson (ESPNU): Clemson rolls, not much going on at 7:00 today
• Kansas @ Nebraska (FSN): Again! 7:00, you disappoint me

8:00

• Ohio State @ Iowa (ABC): Honestly, I’m glad we’re not down here. Lane Stadium is pretty crazy as-is, and it’s much worse at night. Again with the rolling, though, as that’s what OSU should do, but Iowa stands more of a chance than WSU, LaTech, and Kansas.
• Michigan @ Minnesota (ESPN): Michigan may be the first team from the Big Ten to actually be underrated. OSU-Michigan should be incredible this year.

9:00 Georgia @ Mississippi (ESPN2): Not quite “Fast Animals, Slow Children”, but should be a bloodpath again. Unless Stafford plays most of the game again. At any rate, Go Rebels!
10:15 Stanford @ UCLA (FSN): Go Trees, er, Cardinal!

Last Sunday, this past weekend looked to be the worst of the 2006 college football season. Most of the games did little to buck that expectation. In fact, it may have been even worse than predicted. Texas and LSU were up a combined 58-14 at halftime on Iowa State and Tulane. The rest of the top ten struggled, often against mediocre to awful opponents. Here were some of this week’s halftime scores:

– #24 Penn State 3, #1 Ohio State 0. Ohio State’s defense finally picked off Nittany Lion QB Morelli to end the game late in the fourth quarter.
– #2 USC 3, Arizona 0. The final score was USC 20, Arizona 3. Didn’t ESPN say USC’s offense reloaded?
– #4 West Virginia 14, East Carolina 7. East Carolina’s mascot is a pirate. They have lost to Navy and UAB. Those facts alone show how silly this score looks.
– #5 Florida 12, Kentucky 7. Kentucky isn’t in Mississippi, but still…
– #6 Michigan 10, Wisconsin 10. This one isn’t that embarrassing, I guess.
– #8 Louisville 10, Kansas State 0. Kansas State beat Illinois State by one point to open their season.
– Colorado 13, #9 Georgia 0. Without two fourth-quarter touchdowns, Georgia would have lost to the Colorado team that lost to I-AA Montana State the first week of the season. If quarterback troubles continue in Athens, I don’t see Georgia beating Tennessee, Florida, Auburn, or Georgia Tech.
– #3 Auburn 10, Buffalo 0. Auburn did pull away to a 38-7 victory (well below my 117-0 prediction). However, Auburn’s defense, run and pass, looked anemic against Buffalo’s offense. This is Buffalo’s offense about which I am talking! I’m going to give myself an extra point for not ending the previous sentence with a preposition.

Speaking of extra points, I bet Alabama placekicker Leigh Tiffin wishes he could have the one I just gave myself after his performance on Saturday. He is shaping up to challenge John Vaughn for “Least Clutch SEC Placekicker.” Everyone says they feel sorry for these guys, but I’m not so sure we should. When a quarterback throws three interceptions in a game (see Drew Stanton against Notre Dame), no one cuts him slack. Why should we cut a kicker slack for missing three, four (see Tiffin against Arkansas), or five (see Vaughn against LSU in 2005) kicks that would have made the difference in the game?

On a random note, I wore my authentic Mexican sombrero to the Auburn/Buffalo game this weekend. I told people that if Auburn was going to schedule opponents as ridiculous as Buffalo, I was going to dress for the occasion. In addition to being hilarious, the sombrero provided some welcome shade from the blistering sun, which produced an 85-degree heat wave in Jordan-Hare. I’m not sure if the people behind me appreciated it as much as I did.

Thankfully, some tidbits of college football news offered hope rather than leaving question marks. Florida State destroyed Rice 55-7. Mississipi State finally won a game, beating UAB 16-10 in overtime. Actually, I guess that was all the hope I saw in the scores. I’m proud to say that Laura watched most, if not all, of the Michigan State/Notre Dame game. I am only sorry that the Spartans could not hold on to the ball long enough to pull off the “upset” for her.

Next weekend looks to be a slight improvement over the previous one, although that isn’t very hard to accomplish. #3 Auburn goes to South Carolina Thursday night (7:30 PM ET, ESPN). On Saturday, #5 Florida hosts Alabama (3:30 PM ET, CBS). Both should be closer games than the rankings would indicate. Georgia Tech visits Virginia Tech (3:30 PM ET, ABC), and Ohio State goes to Iowa (8 PM ET, ABC). I’m looking forward to both of these games but for different reasons. The first might decide the ACC Coastal Division champion, while the second is another chance for Ohio State to lose. Go Hawkeyes!

Hi, I’m Nick’s brother. My idea is to start this blog’s second weekly feature: On the night of or day after the slate of games, I’m going to post an On Notice board that gives you a precise, 8 point recap of the day’s key actions. Without further ado, here’s the first edition:

1. Michigan State University – You’re on notice for blowing a 16-point 4th quarter lead against the most overrated team since last year’s BEST TEAM EVAR?? USC team.
2. Drew Stanton – Your incompetence will somehow be attributed to Charlie Weis’s playcalling and Brady Quinn’s “mental toughness”. Seriously, 3 turnovers on the last 3 drives?
3. Brent Musberger – Removed his lips from Weis’s ass just long enough to say that an obviously rattled Brady Quinn was “mentally tough”.
4. Lee Corso – For saying that Stanton’s incompetence keeps ND in the national title race. Hate to say it, Lee, but USC would’ve hung 70 on the ND defense tonight.
5. University of Colorado – Um…guys…if you’re beating UGA 13-0 in the 4th quarter, try to play some defense next time. Also, you only get 4 downs in football.
6. Boston College – For losing to NC State on a last second drive, saving Amato’s job until he loses to another MAC team.
7. MSU Defense – You guys looked really good for about a quarter…what happened? Everyone knows that ND refuses to run the ball – either keep blitzing (GT style) or prepare to get reamed by their offense. Guess what – any QB can look really good when he has all day to throw.
8. VPISU – You’re up next on the GT schedule – there’s nothing I’ve seen that would make me believe that you should lose, except that first-year starters don’t play well against GT. It won’t be 51-7 again, though.

I’d like to welcome my brother to the blog. He’s also a GT student but is co-op’ing back home right now.

I was almost completely wrong about CU @ UGA. But, hey, when you need a last minute TD to beat a team that lost to Montana State….

Also, I guess Matt Stafford is no longer the second coming of Christ.