As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Saturday
Noon:

• Mississippi @ Memphis (ABC): I think Memphis is going to win this game, straight up.
• Florida Atlantic @ Ohio State (FOX): Well, I guess if you’re FOX and you’ve got that Big Ten deal you gotta roll the dice and hope there’s enough Ohio State fans out there to justify airing this. 
• South Alabama @ Nebraska (ESPN): The one time you’ll find folks in Nebraska resenting a good ol’ U-S-A chant. 
• Mississippi State vs. Louisiana-Lafayette (@New Orleans, LA; ESPNU): Miss State has plenty of questions, but those questions aren’t questionable enough to put this game in doubt.
• Toledo @ Kentucky (SEC): We’ll find out pretty quickly if Kentucky is good this year.
• East Carolina @ North Carolina State (ACC): We’ll also find out pretty quickly if ECU is less awful this year, though regardless NC State should win.
• Akron @ Illinois (BTN): With Illinois, who knows? I refuse to predict this.
• Indiana vs. Ball State (@Indianapolis, IN; CBSS): Uh, hard to foresee anyone outside of Indiana caring about this unless they are from Indiana. iI’ll take the team nicknamed the Hooisers though.
• Boise State @ Florida State (ESPNEWS): So this game was moved up due to the circumstances around the weather in Florida. I hope everyone can stay safe. Less importantly, I also like Boise here.

3:30:

• Duke vs. Alabama (@Atlanta, GA; ABC): This might the worst choice for an early season neutral site kick-off game I’ve ever seen. Just… why?
• North Carolina vs. South Carolina (@Charlotte, NC; ESPN): They should make it so that the winner here gets to refer to themselves as “Carolina” for the rest the year. Alas, that will still remain mostly UNC territory. Which, I guess they’ll take what they can get because they’re probably going to get clobbered here.
• Georgia State @ Tennessee (ESPNU): Even Tennessee can win this one.
• Eastern Michigan @ Coastal Carolina (ESPN+): For the first time ever, I’ll be listing these streaming only games, at least when they’re FBS vs. FBS. ESPN+ is cheap enough that everyone can get it. 

4:00:

• Northwestern @ Stanford (FOX): Fun and intersectional! Awesome! And, uh, I’ll I take Stanford I guess?
• Virginia Tech @ Boston College (ACC): More Week 1 ACC action/sacrifices for the almighty conference network. Is VPI going to be any good this year? Is the clock running out at BC? I have no idea, because they’re playing in Week 1! I’ll take BC, I guess?

6:00: Syracuse @ Liberty (ESPN+): I really hope this was a 4-for-1 or something. ‘Cuse should roll, at least.

7:00: Southern Methodist @ Arkansas State (ESPN+): State I guess?

7:30:

• Oregon vs. Auburn (@Arlington, TX; ABC): Ah, finally, the actual marquee matchup of the weekend. Oregon! Auburn! The creeping realization of the fact of your own mortality when you remember that “MICHEAL DYER WAS DOWN!” was 8 years ago. Auburn should win this one.
• Miami @ Iowa (FS1): LIGHTNING ROUND! This is the Miami from Ohio. I’ll take Iowa.
• Georgia Southern @ Louisiana State (ESPNU): LSU.
• Georgia @ Vanderbilt (SEC): UGA. 
• Virginia @ Pittsburgh (ACC): UVA.
• Middle Tennessee State @ Michigan (BTN): Michigan.
• Missouri @ Wyoming (CBSS): Mizzou?

10:00: New Mexico State @ Washington State (Pac12): Wazzu.

10:30: Fresno State @ Southern California (ESPN): It’s been a bit of a goof on the college football Internet to talk about USC starting 0-6. But, um, this could actually be a really tough game for them, to the point where I actually like Fresno.

Sunday
7:30: Houston @ Oklahoma (ABC): Do you like offense? I really hope you like offense. This could be the highest combined score of the season. I don’t know what the over/under is, but I’ll probably take the over. That said, I still have to go with the Sooners here.

Monday
8:00: Notre Dame @ Louisville (ESPN): Well, this is maybe the worst Monday-night special game ever. Bleh. Louisville is going to be awful this year, so I’ll take the Domers.

Apologies for the quality here, I’m at PAX and for various reasons this went up late. Look forward to next week’s column actually going up before the games kick off!