As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

11:00: Ohio @ Pittsburgh (ACC): Why is this on this early? Who knows, I won’t (slash can’t) watch it anyway. Pitt.

Noon:

• Cincinnati @ Ohio State (ABC): We’ve actually got a pretty interesting noon slate this week, and this might be most interesting of them all. Cincy probably doesn’t have the talent to win, but they’ve certainly got enough to make it interesting. So, suffice it to say, I’m taking the Buckeyes.
• Army @ Michigan (FOX): I don’t think this will be as close as many say. Going with Michigan all the way.
• Syracuse @ Maryland (ESPN): ‘Cuse? Yeah, sure, that sounds right, let’s go with them, mainly because the alternative is, you know, Maryland.
• West Virginia @ Missouri (ESPN2): These are two teams trying to figure it out, but I think Mizzou may have gotten cosmically unlucky in Laramie last weekend, so I’ll go with them at home.
• Rutgers @ Iowa (FS1): This is certainly a Big Ten conference game you could totally watch on any television. Yep. I have no idea why, though. Iowa.
• Old Dominion @ Virginia Tech (ESPNU): VPI may downplay the revenge angle, but I say, embrace it. Don’t get embarrassed again!
• Bowling Green @ Kansas State (FSN): I’m still easing into the 2019 season right now, so let’s just go with K-State.
• Vanderbilt @ Purdue (BTN): Vandy lost to Georgia last week, which okay, fine, sure. Purdue went on the road to Reno and lost to Nevada. Whoops! I’ll go with Vandy here.
• Alabama-Birmingham @ Akron (CBSS): I know nothing about these two teams right now, so let’s go with the people’s champ, UAB.

1:00: Northern Illinois @ Utah (Pac12): Lot of games this week, and this one of them that you could watch on the West Coast. Well, unless you have DirecTV, then I guess not. Anyway, Utah.

2:00: Southern Florida @ Georgia Tech (ACC): So I was able to watch the first half the Clemson game and I didn’t have time to watch the second half. Frankly, I didn’t need to. This GT team is definitely a work in progress. There were some encouraging signs, like a much improved defense that managed to hold Clemson in check to the highest extent possible. But nothing perhaps summarized the offensive differences than the repeated attempts in short yardage situations that lost year. I mean, get Tobias Oliver back under center if that’s what it takes to punch it in from a yard out, we should still be good at it. I despised short yardage deep handoffs even before my alma mater ran an offense that, generally speaking, was always good for at least a yard, so I would like us to be able to at least correct that deficiency from last week.

3:30:

• Nebraska @ Colorado (FOX): BIG EIGHT TIME! Some folks may remember when this was a big game. I’d say my Mom, but she’s from Kansas, so yeah she didn’t like either of these schools. I guess I’m going with the Cornhuskers?
• Texas A&M @ Clemson (ABC): I HAVE GOT NO SLEEP OVER THE PAST WEEK AND I NEED OT FIGURE OUT HOW I’M GOING TO WATCH GEORGIA TECH TOMORROW, SO… LIGHTNING ROUND! Clemson.
• Southern Mississippi @ Mississippi State (ESPNU): Miss Stat,e probably./
• Central Michigan @ Wisconsin (BTN): Wisky.
• Illinois @ Connecticut (CBSS): Uh, Illinois?

4:00:

• Texas-San Antonio @ Baylor (FSN): Baylor.
• New Mexico State @ Alabama (SEC): Bama.

4:15: San Diego State @ California-Los Angeles (Pac12): SDSU!

5:00: Louisiana-Monroe @ Florida State (ACC): FSU?

7:00:

• Brigham Young @ Tennessee (ESPN): BYU.
• Central Florida @ Florida Atlantic (CBSS): UCF.
• Coastal Carolina @ Kansas (ESPN+): This is the first one in a while to give me pause, and it is a FBS vs. FBS game! But yeah, Kansas, Les Miles or no, should win this one.
• Wyoming @ Texas State (ESPN+): LIGHTNING ROUND RESUMES! Wyoming.
• Western Kentucky @ Florida International (ESPN+): FIU?

7:30:

• Louisiana State @ Texas (ABC): These are both good teams, but if LSU actually has an offense now, then I have to go with them.
• Buffalo @ Pennsylvania State (FOX): Penn State.
• Tulane @ Auburn (ESPN2): Auburn.
• Arkansas @ Mississippi (SEC): Oh geez, this game already has the feel of a game that will determine who comes in last in the SEC West. Arkansas may be slightly less of a disaster than Ole Miss though, so let’s go with them.
• Western Michigan @ Michigan State (BTN): Sparty!
• Nevada @ Oregon (Pac12): Well, Nevada will be able to at least say they beat a Big Te team.
• Liberty @ Louisiana-Lafayette (ESPN+): Go Cajuns.

8:00: Miami @ North Carolina (ACC): I think most were surprised by UNC’s win over South Carolina last week, and also surprised by how bad Miami looked against Florida. Naturally, I’m picking Miami to win.

10:30:

• Stanford @ Southern California (ESPN): We’re arriving at the west coast night caps, and just in time. I like Stanford here.
• California @ Washington (FS1): If UDub can score 21 in this game, I really like their chances, but that’s a big if.
• Minnesota @ Fresno State (CBSS): I think this will go a long way to tell us about both of these programs, but for now I’m going to take Minnesota, but I don’t like it.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Saturday
Noon:

• Mississippi @ Memphis (ABC): I think Memphis is going to win this game, straight up.
• Florida Atlantic @ Ohio State (FOX): Well, I guess if you’re FOX and you’ve got that Big Ten deal you gotta roll the dice and hope there’s enough Ohio State fans out there to justify airing this. 
• South Alabama @ Nebraska (ESPN): The one time you’ll find folks in Nebraska resenting a good ol’ U-S-A chant. 
• Mississippi State vs. Louisiana-Lafayette (@New Orleans, LA; ESPNU): Miss State has plenty of questions, but those questions aren’t questionable enough to put this game in doubt.
• Toledo @ Kentucky (SEC): We’ll find out pretty quickly if Kentucky is good this year.
• East Carolina @ North Carolina State (ACC): We’ll also find out pretty quickly if ECU is less awful this year, though regardless NC State should win.
• Akron @ Illinois (BTN): With Illinois, who knows? I refuse to predict this.
• Indiana vs. Ball State (@Indianapolis, IN; CBSS): Uh, hard to foresee anyone outside of Indiana caring about this unless they are from Indiana. iI’ll take the team nicknamed the Hooisers though.
• Boise State @ Florida State (ESPNEWS): So this game was moved up due to the circumstances around the weather in Florida. I hope everyone can stay safe. Less importantly, I also like Boise here.

3:30:

• Duke vs. Alabama (@Atlanta, GA; ABC): This might the worst choice for an early season neutral site kick-off game I’ve ever seen. Just… why?
• North Carolina vs. South Carolina (@Charlotte, NC; ESPN): They should make it so that the winner here gets to refer to themselves as “Carolina” for the rest the year. Alas, that will still remain mostly UNC territory. Which, I guess they’ll take what they can get because they’re probably going to get clobbered here.
• Georgia State @ Tennessee (ESPNU): Even Tennessee can win this one.
• Eastern Michigan @ Coastal Carolina (ESPN+): For the first time ever, I’ll be listing these streaming only games, at least when they’re FBS vs. FBS. ESPN+ is cheap enough that everyone can get it. 

4:00:

• Northwestern @ Stanford (FOX): Fun and intersectional! Awesome! And, uh, I’ll I take Stanford I guess?
• Virginia Tech @ Boston College (ACC): More Week 1 ACC action/sacrifices for the almighty conference network. Is VPI going to be any good this year? Is the clock running out at BC? I have no idea, because they’re playing in Week 1! I’ll take BC, I guess?

6:00: Syracuse @ Liberty (ESPN+): I really hope this was a 4-for-1 or something. ‘Cuse should roll, at least.

7:00: Southern Methodist @ Arkansas State (ESPN+): State I guess?

7:30:

• Oregon vs. Auburn (@Arlington, TX; ABC): Ah, finally, the actual marquee matchup of the weekend. Oregon! Auburn! The creeping realization of the fact of your own mortality when you remember that “MICHEAL DYER WAS DOWN!” was 8 years ago. Auburn should win this one.
• Miami @ Iowa (FS1): LIGHTNING ROUND! This is the Miami from Ohio. I’ll take Iowa.
• Georgia Southern @ Louisiana State (ESPNU): LSU.
• Georgia @ Vanderbilt (SEC): UGA. 
• Virginia @ Pittsburgh (ACC): UVA.
• Middle Tennessee State @ Michigan (BTN): Michigan.
• Missouri @ Wyoming (CBSS): Mizzou?

10:00: New Mexico State @ Washington State (Pac12): Wazzu.

10:30: Fresno State @ Southern California (ESPN): It’s been a bit of a goof on the college football Internet to talk about USC starting 0-6. But, um, this could actually be a really tough game for them, to the point where I actually like Fresno.

Sunday
7:30: Houston @ Oklahoma (ABC): Do you like offense? I really hope you like offense. This could be the highest combined score of the season. I don’t know what the over/under is, but I’ll probably take the over. That said, I still have to go with the Sooners here.

Monday
8:00: Notre Dame @ Louisville (ESPN): Well, this is maybe the worst Monday-night special game ever. Bleh. Louisville is going to be awful this year, so I’ll take the Domers.

Apologies for the quality here, I’m at PAX and for various reasons this went up late. Look forward to next week’s column actually going up before the games kick off!

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

7:00: Miami vs. Florida (@Orlando, FL; ESPN): I can only imagine that the players in this contest are wondering what deity they wronged in a previous life to be forced to play this game in Orlando a week earlier than the rest of college football plays. The sun may well be below the tops of the stands by the time this one starts, but nonetheless let me tell y’all: humid air holds that heat right in. Also, I’ll take the Gators.

10:30: Arizona @ Hawaii (CBSS): Even though this Week 0 has only two games, I do like that it sort of gives me a proper start of the season since I’ll be otherwise occupied during Week 1, as I usually am. As for this specific contest, well, shucks, I dunno, probably Arizona? Hopefully they’ll run some sort of offense this year that actually utilizes their quarterback properly, which would make me feel a lot better about this pick.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon: Colgate @ North Dakota State (NCAA Division I Quarterfinal; ESPN): I like to at least mention the FCS playoffs in these posts, but I don’t have enough background for the FCS schools to really say anything definitive.

3:00: Navy vs. Army (@Philadelphia, PA; CBS): Obviously, you should watch this, but this is as big of an advantage for West Point as I can ever recall. This Navy team has struggled this season, and while the circumstances of this game ensure they’ll at least be there, I can’t see their defense stopping Army. Again, the Cadets are as big of favorites as I can ever recall.

Naturally, I have to try to follow up my 5000 word… thing and write a normal post. It’s also really late and I have to be at work tomorrow. Here goes!

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Friday

7:00: Northern Illinois vs. Buffalo (Mid-American Conference Championship @ Detroit, MI; ESPN2): I’m just going to assume the Bulls got this. You got this, right Bulls?

8:00: Washington vs. Utah (Pac-12 Championship @ Santa Clara, CA; FOX): I wonder if I could just, like, show up at Levi’s tomorrow and they’d let me in. I’m pretty sure the Pac-12 could use the help. Whereas it would’ve at least been fun if Wazzu could make it here, this is just, well, it’s a thing that definitely shows off the Pac-12 can play defense, too. UDub should be able to out-athlete the Utes, as long as Jake Browning keeps them in the game, at least.

Saturday

Noon:

• Oklahoma vs. Texas (Big 12 Championship @ Arlington, TX; ABC): Second verse, same the first? Nah, probably not. And for the sake of wanting an interesting team in the playoff, I really, really hope not.
• Louisiana-Lafayette @ Appalachian State (Sun Belt Conference Championship; ESPN): It’s the Fun Belt title game and I’m taking App State the whole way. Next up: make up game lightning round!
• East Carolina @ North Carolina State (ACCE): NCSU
• Marshall @ Virginia Tech (ACCE): VPI
• Akron @ South Carolina (SECA): USC

1:30: Alabama-Birmingham @ Middle Tennessee State (Conference USA Championship; CBSS): So here’s a situation where UAB actually kinda got waxed against MTSU last weekend. But hey, the Blazers turned it over a couple of times and got sacked a bunch, so… I’ll ignore my own advice from the Big 12 game above and say Go Blazers!

3:00: Stanford @ California (“The Big Game”; Pac12): By far the more interesting of the two Pac-12 games this weekend, it’ll probably be kind of a mess up in Berkeley due to the rain. Which, well, if we’re running and sliding everywhere, let’s face it, that probably favors Stanford.

3:30: Memphis @ Central Florida (American Conference Championship; ABC): UCF should be good enough without Milton that they’ll win anyway, but nonetheless… would they be the G5 pick even with a loss? Hopefully we don’t have to find out.

4:00: Georgia vs. Alabama (Southeastern Conference Championship; CBS): Bama. Because the last thing I need right now is a Georgia upset that all but guarantees that they both make the freakin’ playoff.

7:45: Fresno State @ Boise State (Mountain West Conference Championship; ESPN): This should actually be pretty fun, but considering the probably conditions (Boise in the first weekend of December) I’m going with the hometown Broncos.

8:00:

• Northwestern vs. Ohio State (Big Ten Conference Championship @ Indianapolis, IN; FOX): Well, maybe keep an eye on that Mountain West title game because boy howdy these primetime games look bleak. After Ohio State did… whatever they did Michigan last week, they have to be prohibitive favorites here. And they are.
• Clemson vs. Pittsburgh (Atlantic Coast Conference Championship @ Charlotte, NC; ABC): Clemson is our best chance for something interesting to happen in the playoff if Oklahoma doesn’t get in. They have to win. They just have to.