Alabama currently has six more Iron Bowl victories than Auburn. The Tigers have won five in a row and seven of the last ten, so they are clearly dominating the modern series. Let’s say that Auburn wins, on average, three out of every four matches in the next half century. In that case, they would close the gap by two wins every four years and pass Alabama’s win count around 2020. I’ll give them another ten and make it 2030, just in case the ‘Bammers decide to hire one of their secret clones of The Bear.

“Well,” you may be thinking, “It’s great to know that Auburn will eventually own the Iron Bowl series. When will Tommy Tuberville pass Bobby Bowden and Joe Paterno as the winningest coach in Division I-A college football history?” Tubbs has 95 wins right now, and JoePa, who will probably pass Bowden (364) in the next year or two, has 362. JoePa is already 79, but I can’t see him retiring until he is at least 90. By that time, Tuberville will be 63. Let’s assume for simplicity’s sake that the two coaches stay even until JoePa retires/dies.

If Tuberville loses more than four games in consecutive years, Auburn alumni would probably kick him out of office. That won’t happen, since Tuberville and Borges are a force that can only be stopped by inept defensive coordinators. Just to be safe, let’s say he only wins eight games a year for the rest of his career. In that case, Tuberville would need 34 years to pass Joe Paterno’s record. So when Tubbs is 97 in 2051, he’ll be the winningest coach ever with over 450 wins. I hope I’m alive to witness the achievement and yell “I told you so!” at passers-by.

It’s the CFP! (Yeah you know me!) It’s the CFP! (Yeah you know me!) So, this week’s seventeen games are all predicted at http://tito.asimweb.org/cfp/week14.html. After that, just the bowl games to go. Peace.

Well, my rivalry predictions weren’t quite as bad as I thought they’d be. I was actually 4-0 going into Thanksgiving with confidence to spare. When Texas A&M pulled off the upset in Austin, I switched to the LSU/Arkansas game on CBS with hopes of an undefeated weekend. Then, the following words came back to haunt me:

“McFadden, Jones, and Monk will destroy the Tiger defense and prepare for a showdown with the Gators in Atlanta.” Well, McFadden and Jones certainly showed up. The Razorbacks actually lost due to the inefficiency of quarterback Casey Dick. I’m still trying to figure out why Arkansas tried four consecutive pass plays. I guess that’s why it pays to have a balanced offense.

“I think the Yellow Jackets have a little more incentive, don’t you?” Tech turned in a performance against Georgia that was just as uninspired as Auburn’s. As a result, they lost.

“The luck of the Irish will overcome USC’s 31-game home win streak, and it will be beautiful.” None of my predictions were more off than this one. USC dominated Notre Dame with the arms of John David Booty, Steve Smith, and Dwayne Jarrett. The Irish secondary looked awful, and Brady Quinn’s response to the Trojan offense, while impressive, was not enough.

Charlie Weis, get rid of the hoodie. You look like a bum.

Now that those are out of the way, it’s time for me to make some more ridiculous predictions (all times Eastern):

The ACC Championship, Wake Forest vs. Georgia Tech (ABC, 1 PM): Calvin Johnson has been shut down all year, and Reggie Ball hasn’t done too well without him. Wake Forest hasn’t put up many points either this year. I’m expecting a close defensive struggle. Neither team will score more than thirty points, but it’s impossible to pick the winner. No one seems to want the ACC title this year.

The Army/Navy game (CBS, 2:30 PM): Looking at their records and common opponents, I’d put money on Navy. Will these two teams will ever matter again nationally? Nope. I’m predicting the announcers will use the word “tradition” at least thrice during the broadcast.

USC at UCLA (ABC, 4:30 PM): USC returns to the Rose Bowl nearly eleven months after Vince Young denied them a second straight national championship. UCLA almost upset Notre Dame at home, but USC just smashed Notre Dame, so that doesn’t mean much. The Trojans will win, but I will get my hopes up anyway and spend the entire game yelling at the television.

The SEC Championship, Florida vs. Arkansas (CBS, 6 PM): Will Arkansas rebound from a close loss to LSU? Will Florida rebound from a string of flat offensive performances? Both will probably happen, making this matchup the best game of the day. I’m pulling for Florida for the sake of BCS controversy, but the Razorbacks will probably be so upset about last week that they’ll win.

Rutgers at West Virginia (ESPN, 7:45 PM): Both of these teams lost to lackluster opponents last week. If Rutgers wins, they get a BCS bid. If Rutgers loses, Louisville gets it. Thankfully, the nation is disinterested in the Big East again. I can now refocus my slander efforts on the Pac-10.

The Big 12 Championship, Oklahoma vs. Nebraska (ABC, 8 PM): Texas gave away the Big 12 South, so now Oklahoma gets to play the Cornhuskers in what may be the most interesting Big 12 Championship this decade. I’m predicting Oklahoma to win, but that’s only because I’m feeling too lazy to look into the statistics.

Finally, why doesn’t the Big Ten pick up Notre Dame and split into divisions? (Sure, the Pac-10 and Big East don’t have them, but they both play a full round-robin schedule. You don’t need a championship to decide who’s the best when everyone plays everyone else.) The Irish already play four Big Ten teams a year. They’d have to give up their service academy/bottom of the Pac-10 schedule, but they could still play USC every year.

Oh man, it’s the last week of the regular season. I wish it hadn’t come so soon. Soak it up while you can!

So, I managed to pump out this week’s CFP. You can read it at http://tito.asimweb.org/cfp/week13.html. I’m too tired to comment on the predictions, or the results of yesterday’s games. I will say, however, that the $60 I paid to see this year’s Iron Bowl in person (albeit in the upper deck) was well worth it. War Eagle!

Well, it’s finally time for me to dispense my thoughts on the next two weeks of football. I’m sure you have all been waiting eagerly at your computer screens to read this. I stayed up past my bedtime to get this in by the promised Tuesday night deadline, so you’d better all be appreciative. In chronological order, here are the rivalries! (All times Eastern!)

Tennessee at Vanderbilt (11/18, 12:30 PM, ESPN Plus): The Commodores pulled off an upset last season, their first win in the series in twenty-two years. Vanderbilt hasn’t beat Tennessee twice in a row since the 1920s. I don’t expect that streak to end any time soon.

Michigan at Ohio State (11/18, 3:30 PM, ABC): As good as Michigan is, they won’t beat Ohio State in this year’s “Game of the Century”: “Judgment Day”. The real shame is that the loss will prevent the Wolverines from reaching the title game. Because they will be idle, Michigan will be passed by whoever emerges victorious from #3-#8. None of those teams deserve it more, but that’s the way the BCS cookie crumbles.

Auburn at Alabama (11/18, 3:30 PM, CBS): Thankfully, there is now nothing to distract Auburn from their trip to Tuscaloosa. I’m kind of scared that the Tigers could blow it anyway, considering how bad they looked against Georgia last weekend. Will Cox duplicate last Saturday’s “which team is which?” performance? Doubtful. Plus, there’s no way I could pick the Tide with a clear conscience. Let’s make it five in a row, Tuberville!

I hope these guys need their paper bags again when Auburn comes to town.

California at USC (11/18, 8 PM, ABC): As much as I want it to happen, I don’t think California’s going to beat USC. The Bears are coming off a devastating loss to Arizona. Even though a win would mean the first Rose Bowl trip for the school since the 50s, I don’t think the motivation will be enough to overcome USC’s frustrating luck.

Texas A&M at Texas (11/24, 12 PM, ABC): With Texas’ starting quarterback injured and their defense in a slump, this year is the best shot the Aggies have had at beating their long-time rivals in a while. I’m tempted to predict an upset here, but A&M hasn’t been able to win close games this season (see Texas Tech, Oklahoma, and Nebraska). What the heck. I’ll pick the Aggies anyway.

LSU at Arkansas (11/24, 2:30 PM, CBS): LSU was barely held off at Auburn, trounced at Florida, and last-minute victorious at Tennessee. I’m hoping they’ll improve to 2-2 away in Fayetteville, but there is too much riding on this one for the Razorbacks to falter. They are the real deal, folks. McFadden, Jones, and Monk will destroy the Tiger defense and prepare for a showdown with the Gators in Atlanta.

Florida at Florida State (11/25, 12 PM, ???): Last year’s matchup was an embarrassment to the Seminoles, and this year won’t be much different. Now that Jeff Bowden has resigned, Florida State can work towards winning this rivalry by the end of the decade. They might as well start Saturday.

Georgia Tech at Georgia (11/25, 3:30 PM, ???): Georgia’s win at Auburn was probably the worst thing that could have happened to the Yellow Jackets. The Bulldogs will carry the rivalry momentum back to Athens with high hopes to recover an awful season. However, Tech hasn’t won for five years straight and is on its way to an ACC championship. I think the Yellow Jackets have a little more incentive, don’t you? Nick and Ehren, I hope you enjoy the win!

Notre Dame at USC (11/25, 8 PM, ABC): The privilege of closing the “four-peat” (actually, “‘two-out-of-three’-peat”) door on the Trojans will be reserved for Notre Dame. Brady Quinn is going to use Army as a warm-up for his destruction of USC’s defense. Touchdown Jesus is going to fly from his end zone in South Bend to get revenge for last year’s “Bush Push” nonsense. The luck of the Irish will overcome USC’s 31-game home win streak, and it will be beautiful.

I’ll be back in two weeks to see how wrong I was and offer my thoughts on Rutgers/West Virginia and the conference championships. Enjoy these matchups while you can. After that, it’s another month until the good bowl games, then eight months until college football returns. Dang.