As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon:

• Oklahoma vs. Texas (“Red River Shootout” @ Dallas, TX; ABC): Okay well, my audio debut last week mostly seems to me kind of a cheap cop out. It’s definitely easier—all I need to do it is stream-of-consciousness into a microphone for 20 minutes. Whereas with this I have to care about “proper spelling” and “grammatically correct English”. Which, look, the Braves lost earlier today and I’ve had a few drinks, okay? The other thing would be easier. Alas. Anyway, we got Oklahoma and Texas playing about six hours from now! That’s real early! But yeah, Oklahoma is still the favorite in the Big 12 until I’m aware of any other alternative.
• Maryland @ Ohio State (FOX): Buckeyes.
• Arkansas @ Mississippi (ESPN): I kind of have the Razoracks WHOMPIN’ their way to a win in Oxford?
• South Carolina @ Tennessee (ESPN2): Vols, not because they’re good, but because South Carolina is bad.
• West Virginia @ Baylor (FS1): Baylor’s kind of good this year, I guess? Still getting used to this college football thing with baseball going on, I have to admit.
• Vanderbilt @ Florida (SEC): Gators.
• Michigan State @ Rutgers (BTN): Sparty.
• Northern Illinois @ Toledo (CBSS): Toledo?
• Akron @ Bowling Green (ESPN+)

12:30: Georgia Tech @ Duke (ACC/RSN): So much for “hope” and “progress”. Look, I can accept that Kenny Pickett is a really good quarterback. But maybe this is our lot for this year? With an easier schedule maybe we could luck our way into a bowl game, but it looks like at this point it’s just gonna be weird and Geoff Collins is gonna be here another year.

2:00: Old Dominion @ Marshall (Facebook)

3:00: Virginia @ Louisville (ACCN): T

3:30:

• Georgia @ Auburn (“The Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry”; CBS): I hope, against all hope, that the usual shenanigans happen and Auburn wins. The problem? I just don’t believe it will happen.
• Boise State @ Brigham Young (ABC): Boise just doesn’t seem that good this year, and the Stormin’ Mormons do. That makes this an easy choice.
• Florida State @ North Carolina (ESPN): FSU is still terrible, even though they did beat Louisville after all last week, I’m still going with UNC.
• Wake Forest @ Syracuse (ESPN2): Wake until proven otherwise definitely a thing I am typing in this, the Year of Our Lord Two-Thousand Twenty-One.
• San Jose State @ Colorado State (FS1): Neither of these MWC teams have inspired a lot of confidence for me so far, but I’ll still go with the San Jose Spartans on the road.
• Ball State @ Western Michigan (ESPNU): WMU?
• Wisconsin @ Illinois (BTN): The Badgers should have no issues here.
• Southern Methodist @ Navy (CBSS): Ponies.
• Florida Atlantic @ Alabama-Birmingham (Stadium): Well, I said “Go Blazers” last week for the first weekend of UAB’s first ever non-Legion Field stadium, and they got pretty much blown out by Liberty. Plus, FAU seems good this year, so I gotta pick the Owls.
• Connecticut @ Massachusetts (NESN/Flofootball)
• Middle Tennessee State @ Liberty (espn3.com)
• Central Michigan @ Ohio (ESPN+)
• Miami @ Eastern Michigan (ESPN+)

4:00:

• Pennsylvania State @ Iowa (FOX): This is the game of the day. The issue is that I have no idea who to favor here. This definitely seems to be one of those Iowa teams that cruises their way to a comfortable Orange Bowl win, but I also think that this edition of Penn State is pretty good. I’m not sure way to do, but elsewhere i’ve picked the Hawkeyes, so I guess my hands are tied.
• North Texas @ Missouri (SEC): Mizzou should manage to win this one, at least.
• Oregon State @ Washington State (Pac12): Is anyone good in the Pac-12,who knows? I’ll go with the Beavers here, though.

6:00: East Carolina @ Central Florida (ESPN+)

7:00:

• Texas Christian @ Texas Tech (ESPN): LIGHTNING ROUND. Red Raiders!
• Buffalo @ Kent State (ESPNU): Bulls!
• Wyoming @ Air Force (CBSS): Cowboys!
• Texas-San Antonio @ Western Kentucky (Stadium): Meep meep!
• Texas-El Paso @ Southern Mississippi (espn3.com)
• Georgia Southern @ Troy (ESPN+)
• South Alabama @ Texas State (ESPN+)

7:30:

• Michigan @ Nebraska (ABC): Wolverines!
• Louisiana State @ Kentucky (SEC): Wildcats!
• Notre Dame @ Virginia Tech (ACCN): Irish!

8:00:

• Alabama @ Texas A&M (CBS): Tide!
• Utah @ Southern California (FOX): Trojans?
• Georgia State @ Louisiana-Monroe (espn3.com)

9:00:

• Memphis @ Tulsa (ESPN2): Tigers!
• New Mexico @ San Diego State (FS1): Aztecs!

10:30:

• California-Los Angeles @ Arizona (ESPN): Bruins!
• New Mexico State @ Nevada (CBSS): Wolf Pack!

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon:

• Michigan @ Wisconsin (FOX): So this is fun. I took a fall from a scooter on Tuesday on the way home from a Giants game. My left hand and chin took the brunt of the damage, with my left hand in particular being scraped, swollen, and bruised. In anticipation of not being sure I could type out the whole column this week, I recorded a podcast-esque type thing that I’ll go ahead and attach to this post. As it turns out, though, my hand is good enough to type up the post, so I’ll go ahead and do it. The even more fun part is if it can pick consistent winners. Anyway, I like Michigan here.
• Texas @ Texas Christian (ABC): As I referenced in the audio, I think that Texas fans don’t wanna hear it, but they’re definitely favorites here.
• Arkansas @ Georgia (ESPN): Well, I’d sure like the WHOMPIN’ to continue, but Georgia just figures to be too much of a match for the Hogs.
• Duke @ North Carolina (ESPN2): Well, I already used the basketball jokes for Duke-KU last week, so anyway this figures to be a good “get right” opportunity for the Tar Heels.
• Memphis @ Temple (ESPNU): I’m not sure what kind of season Temple is having, but Memphis is the favorite here.
• Tennessee @ Missouri (SEC): Mizzou? Sure. Tennessee doesn’t seem that good, and I’m sure the Tigers are recovered from their trip to Chestnut Hill by now.
• Minnesota @ Purdue (BTN): Both these teams have suffered bad losses this year. I view this as pretty much a coinflip. Boilermakers I guess?
• Charlotte @ Illinois (BTN): Charlotte is a spunky Sun Belt team for sure, but I think the Illini can get this one.
• Western Michigan @ Buffalo (CBSS): Buffalo? Yeah, Buffalo.
• Pittsburgh @ Georgia Tech (ACCN): Well, dang, where’d that come from? 45 points? Of offense? And a defense that seems to continue wreaking havoc? Is this team… competent? Okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We still lost to Northern Illinois. Nonetheless, there is this odd feeling of hope. But my eyes are clear – this team is still young, and they may not handle some success well. I suspect this will still be an up-and-down season, and I won’t be surprised by whatever happens.

12:30: Louisville @ Wake Forest (ACC/RSN): Wake Forest is… good? What a weird thing to say, but you know, it happens sometimes.

2:00:

• Southern California @ Colorado (Pac12): Colorado isn’t that good, but USC is a disaster. I’m going to go ahead pick the Buffs.
• Appalachian State @ Georgia State (ESPN+)

2:30:

• Cincinnati @ Notre Dame (NBC): This is the game of the day, probably. Cincy needs this win, and so does Notre Dame. Both are after relevance and playoff chances, and Cincy’s odds are nil without this win, and so are ND’s. I think the Bearcats are that good and will be plenty motivated, so I like them here.
• Louisiana-Monroe @ Coastal Carolina (ESPN+)
• Eastern Michigan @ Northern Illinois (ESPN+)

3:30:

• Oklahoma @ Kansas State (FOX): The Sooners will likely prevail here.
• Oregon @ Stanford (ABC): Stanford is competent this year, in the same way Wake Forest kinda is. The Ducks haven’t quite matched their performance in Columbus as of yet, but they’re still the favorites in the Pac-12 North until further notice.
• Mississippi @ Alabama (CBS): This game will be tons of fun and high-flying offense, but at the end I suspect it’ll be like last year and Alabama will win by multiple scores despite the game being in doubt late into the third quarter.
• Texas Tech @ West Virginia (ESPN2): Texas Tech is… kinda bad. I’ll take the ‘Neers here.
• Nevada @ Boise State (FS1): Boise? Nevada is apparently good this year, but it’s tough to pick against Boise even if they haven’t looked like themselves so far. If they don’t get this one, though…
• Troy @ South Carolina (SEC): South Carolina is bad… but not this bad. Right?
• Ohio State @ Rutgers (BTN): Buckeyes.
• Central Florida @ Navy (CBSS): UCF.
• Syracuse @ Florida State (ACCN): Syracuse. Wow that feels weird to say, but I’ve already given up on FSU.
• Florida International @ Florida Atlantic (“Shula Bowl”; Stadium): This doesn’t look like FIU’s year. I’ll take FAU at home.
• Ohio @ Akron (espn3.com)
• Bowling Green @ Kent State (ESPN+)
• Central Michigan @ Miami (ESPN+)
• Tulane @ East Carolina (ESPN+)

4:00:

• South Florida @ Southern Methodist (ESPNU): The Mustangs are good, and USF is… not. Figures to be a walkover for the Ponies.
• Arkansas State @ Georgia Southern (ESPN+)

5:00: Army @ Ball State (ESPN+)

5:30: Washington State @ California (Pac12): Cal’s defense should just be too overwhelming for Wazzu.

6:00:

• Florida @ Kentucky (ESPN): Sure, the winning streak is long over, the Gators should be well on their way to starting another one.
• Louisiana Tech @ North Carolina State (ACCNX): Obviously the Wolf Pack need to avoid a hangover from finally beating Clemson last week, but they should be able to do so.
• Nevada-Las Vegas @ Texas-San Antonio (ESPN+)

6:30:

• Air Force @ New Mexico (FS2): New Mexico is still terrible when they aren’t playing New Mexico State, so taking Air Force here.
• Southern Mississippi @ Rice (espn3.com)

7:00:

• Kansas @ Iowa State (FS1): KU might not be better than the UNLV team Iowa State whalloped last week.
• Mississippi State @ Texas A&M (SEC): Oh, the Aggies are gonna win, but I’m pretty sure in a way that will create as much drama for them as possible.
• Liberty @ Alabama-Birmingham (CBSS): Go Blazers.
• Marshall @ Middle Tennessee State (Stadium): Marshall seems like a solid team this year, and I think this should be at least a test for them.

7:30:

• Indiana @ Pennsylvania State (ABC): Well, the dream of #9Windiana is likely dead for this year, and I don’t like their odds to pip one in primetime in Happy Valley, either. Could be a good game though.
• Connecticut @ Vanderbilt (ESPNU): Just… this gonna be dire. Watch Indiana-Penn State or see if the proprietors of the Shutdown Fullcast can get on TV or something. (After all, they are the stars of “the Internet’s ONLY college football podcast.) Oh, and yeah, even Vandy can win this one.
• Western Kentucky @ Michigan State (BTN): Still not equipped to deal with good Sparty.
• Northwestern @ Nebraska (BTN): Or that Nebraska might win this one? You know, I’ll give ’em this one.
• Boston College @ Clemson (ACCN): Will Clemson lose two in a row? When was the last time that even happened? I’ll still pick them just on talent, but eventually they’re going to enter USC or FSU territory at this rate.

8:00: Louisiana @ South Alabama (ESPN+)

9:00:

• Auburn @ Louisiana State (ESPN): Tigers-Tigers! Auburn seems not real good though? Neither does LSU? Ordinarily this would be appointment viewing, but oof. I’ll take the Tigers at home.
• Washington @ Oregon State (Pac12): Washington showed a semblance of an offense last weekend, and I’ll take them over a scrappy Beavers team, but I’ll definitely be keeping an eye on this one.
• Old Dominion @ Texas-El Paso (ESPN+)

10:30:

• Montana @ Eastern Washington (ESPN2): I’m going go ahead safely assume that this will be the only game on TV that features a blood-red field.
• Arizona State @ California-Los Angeles (FS1): These two have surprisingly similar season so far, but can UCLA prevail at home? I’m thinking yes but could see this going either way.
• New Mexico State @ San Jose State (NBC Sports/MWC)

11:00: Fresno State @ Hawaii (CBSS): Well, Fresno’s good and Hawaii’s not, but hopefully this can stay competitive into the small hours of the evening.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon:

• Boise State @ Utah Sate (CBS): Not entirely sure why this game is on CBs, but I’ll take it. That said, Utah State hasn’t done much to impress this season, which makes Boise the favorite.
• Texas Tech @ Texas (ABC): It’s kinda funny to me that this series has already been designated as at least one rivalry that will be preserved once the Longhorns leave for the SEC, but I suppose there’s just something to the Battle for the Chancellor’s Spurs that just wasn’t there for Texas-Texas A&M. Go figure. Anyway, I like the ‘Horns here.
• Notre Dame vs. Wisconsin (@Chicago, IL; FOX): Of these two Midwestern teams, I have no idea which is the favorite. The game is at Soldier Field, which figures to be a pro-Irish crowd. I’ll take them but I really have no feel for this one.
• Louisiana State @ Mississippi State (ESPN): Anxiety Bowl time! Is LSU now just kinda mediocre without a generational quarterback talent? Can the Mike Leach Air Raid work in the SEC? I don’t figure this to be a very watchable game, but there is some pressure on for these two schools. Still hard for for me to pick against LSU though.
• Missouri @ Boston College (ESPN2): Both of these teams are undefeated because… it’s week 4. At any rate, I figure BC will emerge unscathed.
• Southern Methodist @ Texas Christian (FS1): The Battle for the Iron Skillet! Unfortunately, not much of a rivalry these days. TCU all the way.
• Bowling Green @ Minnesota (ESPNU): Minnesota has this one easily.
• Georgia @ Vanderbilt (SEC): UGA.
• Villanova @ Pennsylvania State (BTN)
• Ohio @ Northwestern (BTN): Ohio has gone downhill with a quickness after Frank Solich retired, y’all.
• Miami @ Army (CBSS): This is the Miami in Ohio, so the Black Knights of the Hudson should be fine.
• Richmond @ Virginia Tech (ACCN)
• New Hampshire @ Pittsburgh (ACCNX)
• Florida International @ Central Michigan (ESPN+)

12:30: Central Connecticut @ Miami (ACC/RSN)

1:00: Massachusetts @ Coastal Carolina (ESPN+)

2:00:

• Toledo @ Ball State (ESPN+)
• San Jose State @ Western Michigan (ESPN+)
• Texas State @ Eastern Michigan (ESPN+)

2:30:

• Washington State @ Utah (Pac12): Anxiety Bowl, part 2. Of course, the Wazzu coach has proven to be quite the blowhard, so I’m going with the Utes.
• Maine @ Northern Illinois (espn3.com)

3:30:

• Iowa State @ Baylor (FOX): Iowa State got a “get-right” game last weekend against UNLV. I figure they’ll take that momentum into Waco.
• Rutgers @ Michigan (ABC): So Rutgers is slightly more competent than a few years ago when Michigan put those legendary pastings on them, so I figure they may keep it within, say, 4 touchdowns this time?
• Texas A&M vs. Arkansas (@Arlington, TX; CBS): I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE RESULT ON THIS ONE IS GONNA BE BUT THERE’S GONNA BE SOME WHOMPIN’. THOSE BIG OL’ NORTHWEST ARKANSAS BOYS ARE GONNA GET THEIR WHOMP ON FOR SURE IN JERRY JONES WORLD. TAMU IS PROBABLY MORE TALENTED, BUT WILL THAT TALENT STAND UP TO SOME WHOMPIN’? I SAY NAY.
• Clemson @ North Carolina State (ESPN): This is either going to go two ways. Either NCSU will bury Clemson once and for all, showing that this indeed a down year for the Tigers. Or, Clemson will remember that they’re Clemson and win by a few touchdowns. While I suspect the likeliest outcome is the one in-between, I still find it hard to bet against Clemson.
• Louisville @ Florida State (ESPN2): I have to pick Louisville here I guess? Oof.
• Colorado State @ Iowa (FS1): Hold on to your hats, folks, this looks like a Good Iowa year.
• Texas-San Antonio @ Memphis (ESPNU): Y’all, this might be the game of the day. UTSA is good. I’m telling you right now. You might not have ever heard of them, but just trust me on this one. Screw it, I’m even going to pick them.
• Illinois @ Purdue (BTN): Purdue, probably?
• Kent State @ Maryland (BTN): Maryland?
• Wyoming @ Connecticut (CBSS): Wyoming all the way here.
• Towson @ San Diego State (Stadium)

4:00:

• Georgia State @ Auburn (SEC): Tigers.
• Kansas @ Duke (ACCN): Y’all, Duke is a two touchdown favorite in this game. This about that one for a second. I was tempted to go with the basketball joke here, but I’m still just somehow astounded by how bad KU football has to be for Duke, especially this Duke team, to be a multi-score favorite.

5:00: Arkansas State @ Tulsa (ESPN+)

6:00:

• California-Los Angeles @ Stanford (Pac12): This is an unexpectedly big deal Pac-12 matchup, though UCLA did have that let down against Fresno last week. I still like the Bruins though.
• Buffalo @ Old Dominion (ESPN+)
• Charleston Southern @ East Carolina (ESPN+)

7:00:

• Tennessee @ Florida (ESPN): LIGHTNING ROUNG! Gators.
• Kentucky @ South Carolina (ESPN2): Wildcats.
• Nebraska @ Michigan State (FS1): Sparty.
• Navy @ Houston (ESPNU): Cougars.
• North Texas @ Louisiana Tech (Stadium)
• Kansas State @ Oklahoma State (ESPN+)

7:30:

• West Virginia @ Oklahoma (BTN): Sooners.
• Southern Mississippi @ Alabama (SEC): Tide.
• Akron @ Ohio State (BTN): Buckeyes.
• North Carolina vs. Georgia Tech (@Atlanta, GA; ACCN): Every game in a college football season feels so magnified because there’s only 12 of them. And here we are with the Jackets. What is more representative? Their awful, bad loss to Northern Illinois? Or the moral victory of having a chance to beat Clemson late in the 4th quarter? The thing is, this being college football, both of those things are entirely within the realm of possibility. Either way, I hope we put on a good show in Mercedes-Benz.

8:00:

• Florida Atlantic @ Air Force (FS2): Falcons.
• Indiana @ Western Kentucky (CBSS): Hooisers.
• Troy @ Louisiana-Monroe (ESPN+)
• Alabama-Birmingham @ Tulane (ESPN+)

9:00: New Mexico @ Texas-El Paso (ESPN+)

9:30: California @ Washington (Pac12): Y’all, I don’t know what the under is in this game, but take it. Good lord, Cal could well win this 5-3 or something.

10:15: South Florida @ Brigham Young (ESPN2): BYU is pretty good this year, y’all.

10:30:

• Arizona @ Oregon (ESPN): The Ducks remain the last, best hope for the Pac-12 with UCLA losing to Fresno, and I don’t think they’ll be much troubled by Arizona.
• Colorado @ Arizona State (ESPNU): I don’t know much about the Sun Devils, but I’m even less confident in the Buffs.
• Oregon State @ Southern California (FS1): USC should win this, so I’ll pick them, but the down side for them is that it could well be an interesting game.