It’s finally time, kids! We’ll cover all the games this wonderful Labor Day weekend.

This selection of games is completely arbitrary. I’ll cover all nationally televised games as well as regional games. All times eastern for these delicious cupcakes:

Thursday:
7:00: Tulsa @ UL-Monroe (ESPN2): I am so desperate for football I will actually watch this provided I’m still not at work. Also, it’s on HD! So I think I’m required to watch it. (Tulsa rolls.)
8:00: LSU @ Mississippi State (ESPN): Marginally better than the first game as Miss State goes to the slaughter for the football desperate masses.
10:00: Utah @ Oregon State (FSN NW, Utah, and Pacific): This may actually be competitive. My money’s on OSU, though.

Friday, 8:00:
Washington @ Syracuse (ESPN): Two terrible teams face off on a Friday night in a dome in rural New York! I really don’t have much else to say about this.

Saturday:
Noon:

• East Carolina @ Virginia Tech (ESPN): Take a drink every time the word “tragedy” is mentioned! VPI rolls.
• Alabama-Birmingham @ Michigan State (ESPN2): I’m sad because I no longer have John L. Smith to make fun of.
• Colorado State @ Colorado (FSN): Lost in the fact that CU is terrible is that there’s an honest-to-god rivalry game in the opening weekend! This should be pretty fun.

12:30: Western Kentucky @ UF (Gameplan/LF): I just laid down the cash for Gameplan, and I’ll be dammed if I’m not going to use it. For 5 minutes.

3:30:

• Georgia Tech @ Notre Dame (NBC): (Breathe in) (breathe out) Oh man. This is it. Everything before this is filler. One of like 3 worthwhile games of the day. An entire non-ND nation wants us to win here. I want us to win here. However, I hate predicting GT games. Both teams have new quarterbacks, but ND has a lot more questions have skill positions and is switching to the 3-4 defense. GT returns the ACC’s leading rusher and has hired an offensive coordinator who (presumably) knows what the hell he’s doing. At any rate, GO JACKETS!
• Nevada @ Nebraska (Gameplan/ABC): Uh, woo?
• Wake Forest @ Boston College (ESPN/ABC): Early ACC action! I like BC and their QB here, though.
• Washington St. @ Wisconsin (ABC/ESPN): Not terribly excited about this one. Wisconsin should roll.
• Missouri vs. Illinois (ESPN2): This is a toss-up. A toss-up of crap.
• UCLA @ Stanford (FSN): UCLA rolls.

5:30: Arizona @ BYU (Versus): Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……

6:00: Baylor @ TCU (CSTV): aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh………

6:45: Oklahoma State @ Georgia (ESPN2): To hell, to hell, to hell with Georgia… at least, I hope so. Go Sooners!

7:00: North Texas @ Oklahoma (FSN): OU rolls.

7:45: Kansas State @ Auburn (ESPN): AU rolls.

8:00: Tennessee @ California (ABC): And we round out the day with the probably best overall game. I love these sorts of intersectional matchups. If I have some time, I’ll figure out the last time an SEC team traveled to California for something other than a bowl game.

10:00: New Mexico @ UTEP (CSTV): Miners? I guess? Gah.

10:15: Idaho @ Southern Cal (FSN): 7:15 pacific, so I’ll probably watch it.

Monday:
4:00: Texas Tech @ Southern Methodist (ESPN): I’ll be at work.

8:00: Florida State @ Clemson (ESPN): Bowden Bowl! Clemson, with a stable of running backs should be able to take out Papa Bowden.

Well, that was mediocre. Trust me when I say I’m pretty excited about the interesting games (especially ours) but outside of that it’s a bleak slate. Alas! What is important is that the college football season is finally here!