On Notice: Week 2 (Special Guest Edition!)

Well, I’m doing On Notice! this week. You’re just going to have to deal with it.

  1. “Da ‘U'”: When I wrote that I expected Oklahoma to win, I meant that Miami might actually bother showing up to Norman and give them a run for their money. Instead, Miami absolutely wilted. We now know for sure that neither of Miami’s quarterbacks are any good and that Patrick Nix is still a terrible offensive coordinator.
  2. Auburn University: Sorry Tito. This game was fascinating in that it seemed as though both teams were desperately trying to lose up until USF punched in the winning touchdown.
  3. Keys: A recent article reminded me of a phenomenon that I really hate: students and spectators shaking keys. At Tech (and I imagine, most of the South) it symbolized the suggest that perhaps the opponent should being to warm up their busses. In the North (and places influenced by them, see Virginia Tech) it symbolizes a “key” play. Both uses are really terrible, and the former is just downright classless. Please stop doing it.
  4. Green Bay Packers: You may be wondering why a NFL team is on here. I’ll tell you why. Because there’s a decent chance Jared Lorenzen is going to start at quarterback in place of the injured Eli Manning for the Giants Sunday. Jared was a staple of those awful Kentucky games on JP Sports back in The Day, and I find it pretty amazing he managed to actually stay at quarterback all these years instead of being moved to say, fullback. So, yeah, Packers, you better watch out.
  5. Temple University: Temple confirmed their status as the worst team in major college football by getting blown out 42-7 in their MAC opener. And it wasn’t a good MAC team either, it was perennial Bottom 10 contender Buffalo. Yeah.
  6. Duke University: Duke continues on their quest for a second consecutive winless season, as they lost to probably the only ACC team they had a chance of beating, Virginia.
  7. University of Michigan: On here until they win, which they have a fair chance of doing against fellow winless team Notre Dame in the Lame Duck Bowl this Saturday.
  8. Boston College: 2 of the 5 teams in major college football without the word “University” in their official school titles meet in Atlanta this Saturday. I expect this to be our first real test of the year, but I’ll save the specifics for Friday.

Week 2 Games of Interest!

Couple of interesting games this week, but mostly crap. At any rate, we continue onwards! All times Eastern.

11:00: West Virginia @ Marshall (ESPN2): The Battle of West Virginia! WVU wins going away.

Noon:

  • Miami (FL) @ Oklahoma (ABC): I’m not sold on either of these teams – they gorged themselves on cupcakes last week. That said, I have to give the edge to OU based on how terrible Miami’s been the past couple of years.
  • Nebraska @ Wake Forest (ESPN): Another ACC-Big 12 game! Wake didn’t exactly look awesome last week. I’m giving a slight edge to Nebraska here, even if I am rooting for wake.
  • Duke @ Virginia (LF/Gameplan): Both are terrible, but one is much more terrible than the other. Virginia wins a game!

12:30: Alabama @ Vanderbilt (LF/Gameplan): I so desperately want this to be close and for Vandy to pull off the upset. My brain tells me that it will probably go otherwise, as ‘Bama fans are packing Nashville to see the Saban.

1:30: Samford @ Georgia Tech (ESPNU): Included even though I don’t get das ‘U’. Tech should win this one without much trouble, and hopefully Bennett can work off his nerves in a half of work and get his timing down for the passing game.

2:00: California @ Colorado State (CSTV): Cal’s second toughest OOC game – they need to win this to stay in the national picture after taking care of Tennessee this week. CSU and CU looked about level last week, so the boys from Berkeley should take this going away.

2:30: NC State @ Boston College (ESPN2): Important ACC divisional matchup, but NC State is still terrible as Tom O’Brien faces the school he jilted. BC wins to go to 2-0 heading into Atlanta next week.

3:30:

  • Oregon @ Michigan (ABC): Ahahahahahaha. Sorry. Anyway. Oregon runs a spread-offense with a speedy quarterback, the same formula that App State uses. Oregon wins what originally looked like an intriguing matchip.
  • Fresno State @ Texas A&M (FSN): Is Fresno back to its giant-killing ways? Probably not. TAMU wins.
  • Boise State @ Washington (FSN NW/FCS Pacific): Washington claims to have a found a saviour in its young freshman QB. Boise State claims to be a legit contender. This is probably the Broncos’ most import game until they play Hawaii. I’m going say Washington gives them a run for their money, but they’re still Washington and Boise should win.

5:45: South Carolina @ Georgia (ESPN2): I hope against hope the boys from Columbia can go into Athens and whip the dogs. I hope is probably unfounded, though – UGA looked pretty good last week against Oklahoma State while the Gamecocks looked lackluster against UL-Lafayette.

6:00: Notre Dame @ Penn State (ESPN): Georgia Tech’s renowned defense terrorized ND’s QBs into 9 sacks last week. Penn State’s renowned defense should do similar damage. Happy Valley should be pretty happy about this one.

7:00: TCU @ Texas (FSN): TCU also is claiming to be a mid-major to contend with this year along with Boise and Hawaii. To prove it, they need to go giant-killing in Austin. Will they prove it? Probably not, but they may make it interesting.

9:00: South Florida @ Auburn (ESPN2): Auburn shouldn’t have any trouble with the Golden Bulls. However, they also weren’t supposed to have any trouble with Kansas State last week. If the AU offense bothers to show up for more than the last 5 minutes of the game this week they should win this going away – however, USF is probably better than KSU and if Auburn stagnates again they may not get as many second chances.

9:15: Virginia Tech @ Louisiana State (ESPN): The marquee matchup of the weekend – we’ve got real national title implications here, folks. Baton Rogue will be as nuts as they can get, which is pretty nuts. Virginia Tech looked…uninspired on offense against East Carolina last week and let them hang around way too long. Meanwhile, LSU took a business-like approach in beating Mississippi State (who is probably just as good, if not worse, than ECU). I feel like overall, LSU is probably more competent on offense and just as good as VPI on defense. This, plus home field advantage, gives them a slight edge here. I don’t expect a lot of points, though – something like 14-10 for a final would not be unsurprising.

On Notice! (Belated Week 1 Edition)

Everyone’s (well, the like 3 people who read this thing, anyway) favorite weekly feature announcing who sucked last week in CFB is back for it’s second season!



1) University of Michigan – This one is pretty obvious, but in case you didn’t know UM lost to D1-AA (I refuse to call it the “Championship Subdivision”) Appalachian State 34-32. WTG guys.
2) University of Virginia – Now we enter the Crappy ACC teams section of the post. UVA lost to Wyoming, and from what I hear, their QB looked pretty awful.
3) North Carolina State University – Lost to UCF – good job Tom O’Brien.
4) Duke University – Lost to UConn 45-14 in what was probably their best chance to win a game this season. The L streak is now at 21 and counting.
5) Sports Media – 2 things here: First, Lloyd Carr is not going to get fired at Michigan, no matter what those idiots keep calling for in their columns. Second, almost all the articles about the GT-ND game are about how much ND sucks, and in some you have a hard time telling what team they even played against. It’d be nice to give a little credit to GT for being a pretty good team, but I haven’t seen any mainstream articles about this.
6) Charlie Weis – In retrospect, he must have been withholding the starting QB because he knew they all sucked. A “genius” should be able to get it done with less than top-flight talent and have his team looking at least somewhat prepared in Week 1.
7) Early Polls – Michigan at #5 looks pretty dumb right now. As does having FSU at #19 and BC and GT unranked. Good job dumbasses. (BTW, if anyone from the BlogPoll reads this, I would love to vote, and will announce my love for all things poll related)
8) Samford – Little D1-AA cupcake action coming up this weekend for GT – posters on GT message boards are like “if we don’t take this seriously, we’ll end up like Michigan!!!!1111”. This is an obviously dumb statement – Samford and App State aren’t even close in terms of talent. Plus, they’re the Bulldogs.

Week One

Most of this week’s games were mismatches of talent, but that didn’t stop a large portion of the major powers from struggling (or in one case falling flat on their faces). Penn State, Florida, Oklahoma, and West Virginia took care of business, but…

LSU 45, Mississippi State 0: The final score here is misleading. LSU scored 17 points off of four interceptions in the first half, the final touchdown coming as time expired. You’d expect more from a highly-touted SEC offense. Bulldog quarterback Michael Henig looked awful the entire night and literally threw away the hard work of his persistent defense. Mississippi State coach Sylvester Croom is still optimistic about his chances. Looking at his schedule, though, he would be lucky to win half of his games.

Virginia Tech 17, East Carolina 7: C’mon now. 17 points against a minor team from the Big East with a pirate as a mascot? 7 of which came from an interception-turned-touchdown? Pitiful. The Hokies travel to Baton Rouge next Saturday. I don’t think they’ll win.

Texas 21, Arkansas State 13: Two missed field goals, an interception in the end zone, and a penalty on a successful onside kick prevented Arkansas State from bringing down the Longhorns. Texas failed four straight attempts to score from the Indians’ three yard line. Their quarterback is still named Colt McCoy. He’s not VINCE YOUNG, but the name is still awesome.

Auburn 23, Kansas State 13: This was not the season opener I was expecting from my Tigers. Kansas State seemed to run the same short passing play once or twice every series, and Auburn did little to slow them down. The Wildcats even ran some double reverses for similar results. Auburn missed tackles all night, especially during kickoff coverage. To the credit of the defense, they did intercept Kansas State twice and forced one fumble for a touchdown. They missed two or three other interception opportunities, though.

These guys should never have had reason to celebrate.

Auburn’s offense had a disappointing showing as well. Brandon Cox looked a little better than last season. Despite an inexperienced line which gave him little time to settle down, Cox completed 17 of 30 passes for 229 yards. However, most of his completions were to receivers who were wide open and forced them to come back for the catch. It didn’t help that some of the passes which were on target were blatantly dropped (including one in the end zone).

Tuberville had better get to work before South Florida shows up next Saturday. This season could be a painful way to end my career in the student section of Jordan-Hare. At least the completely revamped kicking staff wasn’t a problem.

“Why are we so bad right now?” a distraught and incredulous Tuberville asks his team.

Appalachian State 34, Michigan 32: Ha ha ha…this is hilarious and unbelievable at the same time. No team from I-AA has beaten a ranked I-A oppenent since the divisions were created in 1978. In a poll on ESPN.com, 42% called this the greatest upset in college football history. I think I agree. It’s a shame this had to come at the beginning of the season, because everything else is going to pale in comparison.

28-14. Wolverine fans worldwide begin to fear.

I’ll spare you the recap. If you didn’t watch SportsCenter at all yesterday, this should get you up to speed. On a side note, some ASU students ripped a goal post out of their own stadium, which holds 85% less people than the Big House, and left it in the university chancellor’s driveway.


The action continues tomorrow as Florida State travels to Clemson (8 PM ET, ESPN). Saturday’s slate features some interesting interconference games, including:

West Virginia at Marshall (11:10 AM ET, ESPN),
Miami (FL) at Oklahoma (12 PM ET, ABC),
Nebraska at Wake Forest (12 PM ET, ESPN),
Oregon at Michigan (3:30 PM ET, ABC) (ha ha ha),
and Virginia Tech at LSU (9:15 PM ET, ESPN).

It looks like we’ll have to wait until week three for the major intraconference battles to begin. See you again next Sunday!

Also: I was wrong about Tennessee/California. Darn.