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Week Twelve

I’m not going to apologize any more for posting this so late. You all have come to expect it by now. I could offer excuses like “I had too much to do” or “school is so demanding”, but that would be lame and a lie. The honest truth is that I am not as dedicated to my readers as I should be. Will you forgive me? I’m so sorry! (I really wasn’t going to apologize; sorry…doh!)

Enough. There have been better weeks of college football than week eleven, 2007. (You know something is wrong when NCState’s four-point win over UNC is news-worthy.) For some reason, Division I-A decided to forgo defense. Mississippi State was the only team to score less than 20 points and still win a game. Nebraska, still sore from a 76-39 spanking by Kansas, took it to the Jayhawks’ in-state rivals in a 73-31 decision. Navy and North Texas combined for 136 points in regulation, an NCAA record.

60 of the AP Poll’s 65 voters picked Ohio State as the best team in the nation before their collapse against Illinois. In my opinion, LSU is the real deal and now has the best chance of taking home the crystal ball in January. A few others could pull it off, though. The Big 12 has the best shot of securing BCS #2, since Kansas (12-0) or Missouri (11-1) will face Oklahoma (11-1) in the conference championship. Oregon, on the other hand, closes against Arizona, UCLA, and Oregon State. Not exactly the most impressive finish.

Matt Flynn does not care about the oncoming rushers behind him. He will dominate your defense anyway.

This week’s schedule looks a little more appealing than the last one. Here are the highlights (brought to you in Eastern Time and BCS rankings!):

#16!? Hawaii at Nevada (11 PM!?, ESPN2): Maybe undefeated Hawaii deserves a ranking, but not #16. The AP has them at #13. Above Florida. Ridiculous. I hope they drop one of their last three (at Nevada, at Boise State, Washington) so we don’t have to hear them whine when they don’t get a BCS bowl bid.

#7 Ohio State at #21 Michigan (12, ABC): Things at stake in this game: the Big Ten championship, Lloyd Carr’s job, and the patience of millions of fans outside the Big Ten who are not that impressed by this rivalry.

Off walks the “tough” Buckeye defense.

#23 Kentucky at #9 Georgia (12:30): Why isn’t this on television?

Duke at Notre Dame (2:30, NBC): Will the Fighting Irish make it to three wins? Maybe, but I doubt it. Duke almost beat Navy, Miami, and Wake Forest. Stanford beat USC, the greatest team of all time. Incidentally, the Cardinal hasn’t beaten Notre Dame in five straight meetings. Did you notice that Notre Dame lost to two service academies this year?

Raise your hands if you beat Notre Dame this season!

Take your pick from the following 3:30 massacres!
#1 LSU at 3-7 Ole Miss (CBS)
3-8 Iowa State at #3 Kansas (ABC)
5-5 Miami at #10 Virginia Tech (ABC)
#25 Wisconsin at 1-10 Minnesota (Big Ten Network)

Penn State at Michigan State (3:30, ABC): I’m going to have to ride the fence on this one. I probably know over fifty Penn State fans from my summers in Vermont, and my girlfriend Laura graduated from Michigan State. What’s my compromise? I’m going to cheer for the Nittany Lions during the first half and the Spartans during the second. Laura says the second half is the only one that matters, anyhow.

#17 Boston College at #15 Clemson (7:45, ESPN2): The only reason I care about this is that I picked Clemson to win their division. This game determines whether or not I was right. Go Tigers!

Week Ten

Oh man, I am so behind on college football analysis. I apologize profusely and hope this week’s column earns my way back into your hate list. I guess I’ll start by covering the more interesting scores of the last two weeks.

Rutgers 30, #2 South Florida 27: Cinderella’s spell wore off on October 18, unless you still count Rutgers as a Cinderella team from last season. Essentially, the Big East pulled an SEC and eliminated itself from a shot at the national championship. Bulls QB Grothe (which is probably pronounced like the name of German poet Goethe) was sacked seven times in the second half, and the Rutgers’ O-line stopped the nation’s leading sacker (George Selvie with 11.5) from reaching Scarlet Knight QB Teel. It didn’t help that the Bulls dug themselves a 4th-and-37 hole with a sack and a penalty on the final play of the game.

Connecticut 21, Louisville 17: I’m spending way too much time on the Big East, but Connecticut’s run is pretty impressive. They joined Division I-A in 2000 and the conference in 2004, and they are currently 7-1. That’s better than highly touted South Florida. Their records in 2000 and 2001? 3-8 and 2-9.

#23 Connecticut 22, #10 South Florida 15: (See the last two summaries.)

Temple W, Northern Illinois/Akron/Miami (OH) L: Temple is on a three-game win streak!? The last time Temple won more than four games was in 1990, when they went 7-4. The Owls probably have the worst historical record of any Division I-A program, so you have to feel good when they actually do something. You have to hand it to them; most people would give up after so many years of awful football.

And now, the guys who don’t lose all of their games any more!


Vanderbilt 17, #6 South Carolina 6: On to the SEC (finally). I’m really not sure how this happened, because I was driving to Baton Rouge during this game. It is interesting to note that this was Spurrier’s first loss to the Commodores. He notched two with Duke, ten with Florida, and two with South Carolina before the debacle on October 20. This threw the SEC East into total shambles, or so we thought untill…

Alabama 41, #21 Tennessee 14: The Tide opened with a successful onside kick and never looked back. Alabama put 510 yards on the Volunteer defense, 363 from the arm of John Parker Wilson. Thankfully, the boost in confidence resulting from this game will set up the Saban Nation for heartbreaking (or humorous) losses against the Two Tigers of the West.

Tennessee 27, #16 South Carolina 24: Both teams rebounded for a thriller in Knoxville. The Gamecocks Succop’ed a loss in the second overtime, much to the delight of the Volunteer faithful.

#4 LSU 30, #17 Auburn 24: In one of the worst officiating blunders in college football history, the scores of the two teams were reversed, robbing ol’ Tubs of a perfectly good road victory.

#15 Florida 45, #7 Kentucky 37: Two of the top tier teams in an SEC shootout. These are top tier teams, right? Well…

#18 Georgia 42, #11 Florida 30 and Mississippi State 31, #14 Kentucky 14: ….maybe not. Georgia and Tennessee are now on top of the SEC East, and Florida, Kentucky, and South Carolina are on the bottom. This season hasn’t run out of surprises yet. Also, MSU coach Sylvester Croom has probably earned himself another season of employment.


#1 Ohio State 24, Michigan State 17: The Buckeyes slid by another conference opponent, and the voters keep them atop the polls. Incredible. To their credit, they did roll over Penn State. Penn State won the student section competition, though.


#13 Kansas 19, Colorado 14 and #9 Kansas 19, Texas A&M 11: The Jayhawks notched two wins over unranked Big 12 opponents and are 8-0 for the first time since…1909. Their last 7-0 runs were ended by Kansas State (1995) and Oklahoma (1968). They’ve already beaten the Wildcats, and they don’t play the Sooners this year. Historically, they are looking pretty good.

#5 Oregon 24, #12 USC 17: This is probably the sweetest score in recent history. I don’t know how the sports media could stand to publish the information. Finally, USC is out of the running for the Pac-10 championship. (Of course, they have the absence of John David Booty as an excuse.) The Ducks face Arizona State this Saturday to determine the conference. The Sun Devils will probably win, but for the sake of looking smart, I hope they don’t.


Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…
#2 Boston College 14, #8 Virginia Tech 10: Apparently fourth-quarter miracles are more impressive than sixty-minute pummelings. (LSU 48, Virginia Tech 7? Do any of the voters remember that?) To close out the season, BC hosts Florida State, travels to Maryland and Clemson, and returns for Miami. If the Eagles don’t fall somewhere during that period and play for the national championship as a result, I’m going to be upset.

If you are still reading at this point, here’s a list of the big games this Saturday along with some quick-fire analysis. I’m getting tired and hungry, or this would be longer. All times are Eastern.

#21 Wisconsin at #1 Ohio State (12): The Buckeyes have one last test before heading to Ann Arbor on November 17. They’ll pass.

Nebraska at #9 Kansas (12:30): It’s possible that Nebraska will right their ship, but I doubt it. Kansas improves to 9-0.

Vanderbilt at #20 Florida (12:30): The Gators should put an end to the Commodore nonsense in the East.

Navy at Notre Dame (2:30, NBC): Navy hasn’t beaten Notre Dame since 1963. They have come close to ending the streak only a handfull of times, and this year could very well be the one. The Midshipmen have no defense, as their 52-59 loss to Delaware demonstrated. However, they do have an offense, something the Fighting Irish lack. Weis’ squad hasn’t managed more than 19 in any of their games. Even luck cannot propel Notre Dame over Navy. I hope the entire Academy runs onto the field after the win.

#12 Michigan at Michigan State (3:30, ABC): The Spartans have come so close to an upset this season. Cut ’em a break, will ya Carr?

#3 LSU at #17 Alabama (5, CBS): Nick Saban gets walloped by his former employer. Boston College stays ranked above LSU even after the Tiger domination of the Tide.

“You guys played a good game. Have fun cleaning up after we trash ‘Bama.”

#4 Arizona State at #5 Oregon (6:40, ESPN): It’s the Pac-10, so no one cares.

Florida State at #2 Boston College (8, ABC): ABC is hosting a slew of day games and night games? That’s awesome.

Oregon State at #19 USC (8, ABC): Get this trash off of television, please.

That’s all I have for this week. Hopefully I can be more faithful to you guys from here onward. Oh, one other thing. I lost the challenge to Tim. My computer crashed a few weeks before the finish, but I was so far behind that I conceded. Therefore, I’ll be sporting a pink T to the Auburn-Tennessee Tech game. Don’t worry; there will be pictures.

Q: Is it worse to look like this guy or wear pink to a football game?

A: Wearing pink is still worse.

Week Eight

Despite two notable exceptions, the college football world seemed to right itself this weekend. Most of the teams in the top 25 took care of business from the get-go. #3 Ohio State slammed Kent State 48-3, #5 South Florida beat Central Florida 64-12, and #9 Oregon trashed Washington State 53-7. Virginia Tech, Arizona State, and Texas dominated, too. Boston College, the USCs, and Georgia let their opponents hang around until the end. Penn State embarrassed #19 Wisconsin 38-7, and #20 Kansas continued their march to a division title with a 58-10 decision over Baylor. (Admittedly, they were playing Baylor.)

“Maybe we should try to go into the other team’s end zone.”
As you well know, the top two teams in the country lost last evening. This is the eighth time that both have done so in one weekend since 1964 and the first time since 1996. Cal fell thanks to a poor decision by first-time starter Kevin Riley, who decided to run the ball with 0:10ish left rather than throw it away. Only when he fell to the ground did he realize that his team was out of time-outs. There are probably more reasons for the Bears’ collapse, but they are in the Pac-10, so they aren’t worth a more detailed analysis.

Somebody at ESPN.com needs to proofread a little closer.
LSU fell, too, in a triple-overtime thriller against up-and-coming Kentucky. The majority of the credit goes to Wildcat QB Andre’ Woodson, who threw for 250 yards and three touchdowns. He even VINCE YOUNGed into the end zone through a gap so wide that I could have done the same. Woodson’s performance was impressive, but the Wildcat defense won the game. LSU failed to gain a first down in four tries on the ground, the last coming about a yard short. Colt David almost saved his team with a ridiculous 57-yard field goal attempt as time expired; he had the distance but not the angle.

This is what happens when you let a conference doormat beat a juggernaut. People lie down on football fields.
Auburn’s transformation appears genuine, though touchdowns are few and far between. The Tigers inched out a 9-7 win over Arkansas thanks to the powerful (and sometimes inaccurate) leg of freshman kicker Wes Byrum. Byrum sealed his place in Auburn football history by performing the Gator chomp after his game-winning field goal(s) against Florida. He missed two longer attempts against the Razorbacks but redeemed himself by splitting the uprights to put Auburn ahead.
“IN YOUR FACE, URBAN MEYER!”
The Tiger defense continued to impress. Arkansas’ run game only managed 67 yards, ending McFadden’s run (yuk yuk) at the Heisman. That effectively shut down the Razorback offense by forcing Casey Dick to throw the ball, which he can’t do. I’m not sure why they play him at all with receiver Marcus Monk injured. One of my friends suggested that McFadden should be the starting quarterback. That makes sense to me.

A DVR is a wonderful tool.
I’m looking forward to this weekend. Kansas goes to Colorado to continue their Big 12 quest. USC returns to South Bend, but this time the Trojans don’t have much to lose (or the best offense of all time) (3:30 PM ET, NBC). Miami and Florida State face off in what used to be an epic struggle (3:30 PM ET, ABC). Down-and-out Nebraska and Texas A&M meet for yet another showdown of disappointments.

Every time I see this picture, I get a sick feeling in my stomach.
The SEC boasts three major matchups: Florida at Kentucky (3:30 PM ET, CBS), Tennessee at Alabama (4:30 PM ET, CBS), and Auburn at LSU (9 PM ET, ESPN). No one knows what will happen in Lexington. ‘Bama just squeaked by Ole Miss and Tennessee is on a roll, so I’m guessing the Tide will pull off another bogus comeback win. Tuberville is 14/15 in SEC road stadiums, but his one loss was against LSU in 2005. (Thanks a lot, John Vaughn.) I’m considering making the drive to Baton Rouge to redeem my unfaithfulness over the Florida game.

Nope, your game-winning field goal against Georgia does not erase the five misses against LSU. Nice try.
P.S. I forgot to mention that Michigan State won a 52-27 beatdown of Indiana. My fingers are crossed for a victory over Ohio State in Buckeye Stadium, which hasn’t happened since 1987. Go Spartans!

Week Seven

Last week, 32 of the 65 AP voters thought USC was the best team in the nation. A 27-24 win at Washington wasn’t enough to shake their confidence. A 23-24 loss to Stanford was. The Cardinal punted six times in the first half and remained scoreless until an intercepted pass by John David Booty (whose name is always referenced in full) was returned for a touchdown. Stanford scored 17 more points in the fourth quarter (including a 4th and goal touchdown pass with 54 seconds remaining in regulation) and snapped a 35 game win streak in the Coliseum. Today, the 32 errant voters finally came to their senses and voted LSU #1.

This is my favorite photo of the season thus far.

Speaking of LSU, the Tigers had quite a scare in Death Valley last night. Florida came into Baton Rouge seething from yet another loss to Auburn’s defense and special teams. Unfortunately, Tebow was not the quarterback savior that the Gator nation needed. The sophomore was 12 of 26 in the air for 158 yards and produced just 67 yards in 16 attempts on the ground. Two second half turnovers gave LSU just enough chances to overcome a ten-point deficit. You have to give some credit to the Tigers, though. Miles’ squad converted five fourth downs, one from the Florida 7 with little over 2:00 left on the clock.

Les Miles may be the angriest coach in the SEC.

On the Plains, I witnessed Auburn’s 35-7 obliteration of Vanderbilt (the Commodore touchdown was against the second string defense). Brandon Cox was 14 of 17 for 165 yards, a touchdown, an interception, and only one sack. Cox even improvised, pitching the ball forward on one play and rolling out of the pocket to throw to the end zone. Tailback Brad Lester returned from academic suspension in full force. He ran 77 yards in 13 carries and was responsible for two Tiger touchdowns. The only disappointment was that kicker Wes Byrum never had the opportunity to display his prowess. Tommy Tuberville notched his 100th win since entering the SEC. (Also, I was able to touch his hand during Tiger Walk. I will never wash mine again.)

Believe it or not, Brad Lester can fly.

In other news, Oklahoma regained composure and inched out a 28-21 win over Texas. #5 Wisconsin was finally exposed as mediocre by Illinois, and #6 South Florida almost fell to Florida Atlantic. (How USF is still ranked in the top ten is a mystery.) North Carolina beat Miami. (Read the previous sentence again if needed.) Ohio State and Penn State took care of business while Michigan struggled against their Eastern counterpart. Notre Dame finally won (thanks to the injury of UCLA’s Ben Olsen). Alabama held off previously 2-2 Houston with an interception in the end zone in the final play of the game. Kentucky’s dreams were shattered as South Carolina prepared for a run at the SEC East title. Tennessee trounced Georgia 35-14.

There isn’t much going on next weekend. There’s more than what is listed below, but I’m too lazy to write any more (all times Eastern):

12 PM, ESPN: Georgia Tech and Miami face off to determine who is the most disappointing team in the ACC.

12 PM: UCF goes to South Florida to potentially end the Bulls’ dreams.

3:30 PM, CBS: LSU goes to Kentucky to begin their destruction of the rest of the SEC. (The Tigers will not lose again after nearly falling to Florida.)

3:30 PM, NBC: #4 Boston College travels to Notre Dame to return the Irish to reality.

3:30 PM, ABC: #19 Wisconsin visits unranked Penn State (those rankings should be reversed).

7:45 PM, ESPN: #22 Auburn goes to Arkansas to see if they are really better or not.

Have fun watching!

I don’t think it is possible to overuse this picture.

Week Six

I could not have picked a worse week to precede with conference winner predictions. Just in case you missed the entire weekend of college football, everything went absolutely crazy. This was the most chaotic Saturday during my tenure as a fan of the sport. Oklahoma and Texas tripped on their way to the Red River Shootout. South Florida solidified their case for legitimacy with a win against Big East-favorite West Virginia. Oregon fumbled away a chance at overtime with Cal, boosting the Bears to a No. 3 ranking.

As embarrassing as those results were for my column, I could not have been more wrong than my prediction for the Florida game. “I sold my ticket to the Swamp when I realized it wouldn’t be much fun to drive six hours to watch us get clobbered” (9/12/07). I told a number of people that their trips to Gainesville were going to be a waste of time. The Auburn Tigers, apparently, thought otherwise.

I should have known that Auburn would pull off the upset. The Tigers are at their best when they are perceived to be at their worst. (I wish Auburn could somehow play as the underdog in every game for the rest of its history, because then Auburn would never lose.) Also, recent history has shown that Auburn is capable of beating Florida without an offense: the Gators are no match for Auburn’s defense and special teams.

In 2001, Auburn placekicking legend Damon Duvall tacked a 40+ yard field goal with ten seconds left onto a pair earlier in the game. That kick defeated Spurrier’s final Gator squad, which was ranked #1 coming into Jordan-Hare Stadium. I was only fifteen when I attended that game, but seeing the students rush the field and tear down the goal posts is one memory I will never forget.

In 2006, Auburn rebounded from a humiliating loss to then-underappreciated Arkansas to defeat the future national champions. John Vaughn, who single handedly lost the 2005 LSU game (for which I will never forgive him), put four of five through the uprights. The defense forced mutliple turnovers, a safety, and converted a blocked punt into a touchdown.

In 2007, offensive coordinator Al Borges replaced quarterback Brandon Cox with a ridiculously efficient robot. Cox was 17 of 26 for 227 yards, connecting on multiple occasions with superstar receiver Rodgriqus Smith. He didn’t throw any touchdowns, but that was due to the utilization of Kodi Burns in the red zone. More importantly, Cox didn’t throw any interceptions, either.

“Wait a second,” you may be asking yourself. “Didn’t you say Auburn beats Florida without offense?” Yes, I did; I guess I exaggerated a little. The Tiger defense held the Gators to only 17 points when they had averaged 49.25 in their first four games. They shut down Tebow three consecutive times inside the goal line.

The difference maker, in my opinion, was special teams. It all began with a Florida penalty: roughing the kicker transformed Auburn’s first drive from a three-and-out to a field-long campaign for the end zone. Early in the second quarter, Auburn blocked a 34 yard field goal attempt. And, of course, freshman kicker Wes Byrum nailed two field goals (three, if you count the first try at the game winner) in the second half to seal the win.

I wish I had a picture of Byrum’s Gator chomp. It was classic.

I’m a little worried about Vanderbilt’s visit to the Plains on Saturday. Just as Auburn is incredible as an underdog, Auburn is sketchy as a favorite and slow in the morning. Three of our last four losses were to unranked opponents and kicked off no later than noon (Arkansas, Georgia, and Mississippi State). However, considering my stupidity in recent times, I’m going to go against what I would normally say and pick Auburn to win by more than two touchdowns.

That reminds of me of the Seinfeld episode where George finds incredible success by rebelling against his instincts. Maybe I should try that on this week’s slate. Would South Carolina over Kentucky (Thursday, 7:30 PM ET, ESPN) be an upset? Certainly Illinois over Wisconsin (Saturday, 12 PM ET, ESPN) would. So would Florida over LSU (8 PM ET, CBS) (thank goodness I’ll get to watch it). Just for kicks, I’ll pick Purdue over Ohio State, Eastern Michigan over Michigan, Florida Atlantic over South Florida, and…Stanford over USC. It’s so crazy that it just might work!

I’m taking college football advice from this guy. It can’t get worse than last week, right?