As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon:

• Florida State @ Louisville (ABC): Okay, due to a series of, uh, events this is also going to be really snappy. But let’s also note the oddity of arguably one of the most import games of the day being right at noon. Was ESPN asleep at the wheel? At any rate, FSU.
• Miami @ Appalachian State (ESPN): I’m picking Miami, but they’re totally going to lose this game. I mean, seriously.
• North Dakota State @ Iowa (ESPN2): Normally I don’t include FCS vs. FBS matchups, but I put this one in because it’s on ESPN2 and it’s NDSU. Whom I am totally picking.
• Iowa State @ Texas Christian (FS1): TCU.
• Kansas @ Memphis (ESPNU): Memphis.
• New Mexico @ Rutgers (ESPNEWS): Rut—ah, what the hell, New Mexico.
• Ohio @ Tennessee (SEC): Valws.
• Temple @ Pennsylvania State (BTN): Temple.

12:30: Vanderbilt @ Georgia Tech (ACC): We’ve got a lot of work to do on both sides of the ball. The schedule ramps up really quickly after this. Hopefully we make the necessary adjustments.

2:00: Idaho @ Washington State (Pac12): Wazzou.

3:30:

• Oregon @ Nebraska (ABC): Oregon, probably?
• Alabama @ Mississippi (CBS): As much as three-in-a-row would be hilarious, I have to go with Bama here.
• Pittsburgh @ Oklahoma State (ESPN): This is probably the last weekend of wacky inter-sections games, so enjoy them while you can, even if it’s Pitt at a very moribund Oklahoma State. Also, going with Pitt here.
• Boston College @ Virginia Tech (ESPNU): Oof, this one’s a bit of a stumper. Uh, VPI?
• San Diego State @ Northern Illinois (CBSS): Even the Group of Five is getting in on the inter-sectional fun! Going with SDSU, though.
• Colorado @ Michigan (BTN): Michigan.

4:00: East Carolina @ South Carolina (SEC): ECU is going for two, and I think they’re going to make it!

7:00:

• Texas A&M @ Auburn (ESPN): The folks over at EDSBS are calling this Anxiety Bowl, ’cause this game is going to get someone fired. I’d… say it’s not looking good for Gus Malzahn.
• Mississippi State @ Louisiana State (ESPN2): Speaking of which, this game might well get someone fired too. This is not a great LSU team or anything, but at night, in Baton Rouge, well, it’s not looking real good for Dan Mullen.
• Louisiana Tech @ Texas Tech (FSN): Tech! Er, oh, right. Uh, TTU, sure.
• Maryland @ Central Florida (CBSS): Maryland?
• Troy @ Southern Mississippi (beIN): Southern Miss.

7:30:

• Michigan State @ Notre Dame (NBC): If this final score is like 12-9, then Sparty has got this. But I don’t think that’ll be the case.
• Ohio State @ Oklahoma (FOX): The ramifications of this game are inversely proportional to the amount of time I’m going to spend on it. Ohio State.
• North Texas @ Florida (ESPNU): Florida.
• Georgia @ Missouri (SEC): I want Mizzou in this so badly, but… Georgia.

8:00:

• Southern California @ Stanford (ABC): Stanford.
• Duke @ Northwestern (BTN):  Duke.

10:15: California-Los Angeles @ Brigham Young (ESPN2): UCLA.

10:30:

• Texas @ California (ESPN): Texas, but boy howdy there’s going to be some points in this game.
• Utah @ San Jose State (CBSS): Utah: apparently knows the way to San Jose, which I suspect will not otherwise offer much in the way of resistance.

10:45: Hawaii @ Arizona (Pac12): Zona.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon:

• Central Florida @ Michigan (ABC): This weekend has one of the worst schedules I think we’ve ever had in all the years we’ve been doing this, so don’t be surprised if some of these picks are a bit rapid fire. In addition, I’m going to be at a wedding most of the day and I basically didn’t see anything that happened last week, so… yeah. Let’s start here: Michigan.
• Pennsylvania State @ Pittsburgh (ESPN): On the one hand, this is one of the better games this weekend. It’s the resumption of a series where the two teams have met 96 times in the past yet haven’t played each other since 2000. Yet my fear is that the score will similar now to what it was then: 12-0, Pitt.
• Wyoming @ Nebraska (ESPN2): Might be worth checking in on just to see what Wyoming’s wearing. Only so much you can do with white, brown, and yellow, y’all, and most of it isn’t good.
• Central Michigan @ Oklahoma State (FS1): Cowboys.
• North Carolina State @ East Carolina (ESPNU): This… could be close? I don’t think is expecting the Wolfpack to be world-beaters or anything this season, but ECU is always one of those teams that can be pesky on occasion. Both demolished some patsies last week, so, uh, going with the default here.
• Rice @ Army (CBSS): The last time Army won two games in a row was 2010, when they beat North Texas and Duke on consecutive weeks. And hey, Temple was definitely the hearder of these two, so sure, why not.
• Cincinnati @ Purdue (BTN): Cincy.

12:30: Troy @ Clemson (ACC): Clemson.

2:00: Utah State @ Southern California (Pac12): I never really though USC would beat Alabama, but I thought that they had, you know, the talent to at least make a game of it. Whoops. At any rate, that talent should serve them much better against these Aggies.

2:30: Ohio @ Kansas (FSN): Kansas beat Rhode Island 55-6 last week, which makes me wonder if they’ll be as awful as everyone’s expecting. Ohio is a step up, but Kansas has a pretty good shot of winning back-to-back games for the first time since 2011.

3:00: Mercer @ Georgia Tech (espn3.com): Being at PAX, I definitely was not even remotely able to see this game, which kicked at 4:30 AM local time here on the West Coast. This one is much more palatable! I can read articles and statistics, though, so this week I’m looking for better blocking on the line and by the backs.

3:30:

• Tulsa @ Ohio State (ABC): Buckeyes.
• Nevada @ Notre Dame (NBC): Irish.
• Kentucky @ Florida (CBS): Sure, Florida wasn’t great last week, but… Kentucky lost to Southern Mississippi last weekend. Whoops! I suspect I’ll get to have a longer writeup about how Kentucky hasn’t won this game since 1986 again next year.
• Western Kentucky @ Alabama (ESPN2): Considering all the SEC upsets last weekend, the “THEY SUPPOSED TO BE SEC” meme got unearthed again last weekend, and the school that provided us that wonderful .gif was… Western Kentucky! However much I think these Hilltoppers are game, though, boy howdy ‘Bama sure did take Southern Cal to the woodshed last week, so I don’t think there exists a limb long enough for me to go out there to pick WKU.
• Southern Methodist @ Baylor (FS1): Baylor.
• Wake Forest @ Duke (ESPNU): Duke.
• Connecticut @ Navy (CBSS): Navy.
• Akron @ Wisconsin (BTN): Wisconsin.

4:00: Ball State @ Indiana (ESPNEWS): Indiana.

5:00: Idaho @ Washington (Pac12): UDub.

7:00:

• Arkansas @ Texas Christian (ESPN): If this were November, I’d probably say Arkansas. But, well, with the style of play they have, it really takes a lot of effort to get that mass rolling and it’s just too early in the season at this point.
• South Carolina @ Mississippi State (ESPN2): Oooof. So… this is a game featuring a team coached by Will Muschamp that needed to get kind of lucky to beat Vanderbilt and a team that lost to South Alabama. Well, one of them still has Dak Prescott, though… I’ll hold my nose and take Miss State.
• Northern Illinois @ South Florida (CBSS): USF.

7:30:

• Brigham Young @ Utah (FOX): The Holy War is back, and boy howdy, it’s the best game on this slate by a long-shot. The Utes took a relatively gentle approach to their Week 1 opponent and won 24-0 against a FCS team. Meanwhile, BYU kind of quietly beat Arizona 18-16, at least as quietly as you can beat anyone on a last second field goal. And so, this looks to be a fun matchup and I have no idea which way it’s going to go. The Utes are on a 5 game winning streak in this series, which is perhaps indicative of the increase in quality they’ve had since joining the Pac-12. On the flip side, like I said earlier, BYU just beat a Pac-12 team, and one that wasn’t expected to be terrible or anything. So, why, not, let’s go with the Stormin’ Mormons here.
• Arkansas State @ Auburn (SECN): I don’t think that Auburn is in any danger to falling to this Arkansas State team, which is only slightly more removed from their Guz Malzahn glory days than Auburn is. Seriously, I can’t help but read this article about Chip Kelly and wonder if the same applies to Malzahn.
• North Carolina @ Illinois (BTN): Carolina.
• Iowa State @ Iowa (BTN): This won’t even be on TV here, but I feel compelled to talk about it anyway. For starters, for as utterly awful as the Cyclones have been basically… forever, this game has been relatively close over the past 10 plus years, give or take a few. Now factor in Kirk Ferentz’s utterly insane contract extension, and yeah, at a minimum, I don’t think Iowa’s covering that 15 points.

8:00:

• Virginia Tech vs. Tennessee (@Bristol, TN; ABC): It’s in the middle of a racetrack, so I guess there’s some novelty there. Otherwise, meh. Vols.
• Nevada-Las Vegas @ California-Los Angeles (Pac12): UCLA.

10:15: Washington State @ Boise State (ESPN2): Wazzou losing to a FCS team from the Pacific Northwest is becoming something of a tradition, but I think they’ll be in an 0-2 hole after a visit to the blue turf.

10:30:

• Virginia @ Oregon (ESPN): Oregon’s not what they used to be, but did you know Virginia lost to Richmond last weekend? That’s not a good look, as the kids say.
• California @ San Diego State (CBSS): Cal’s defense is beyond awful, but is it awful enough to prop up the Aztecs’ moribund offense? We’re about to find out! I’m going to be lame and take Cal, though.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Saturday

7:30: Georgia Tech vs. Boston College (@Dublin, Ireland; ESPN2): And here we are, my team, right here off the top, leading off the season, yet on the one weekend a year I can’t really watch. There’s not a whole lot that could have gone a lot worse for us last year. The beginning of a new season of any sport is always an opportunity for unfettered optimism. I know this, and yet, I find myself not too worried about this Tech. Sure, a lot of it is from the “well, it sure as hell can’t be worse” perspective, but there’s also the old college football saying “the best thing about freshmen is that they eventually becomes sophomores”, and this is a team that can definitely be applied to.
BC are, of course, not slouches themselves. They had a legitimately great defense last year coupled with an unbelievably incompetent offense. This game could well be a chess match, and for those of you able to watch it, just keep that in mind.
Note: the rest of the picks are going to be pretty rapid fire, I just ran out of time. Sorry.

Noon:

• Oklahoma vs. Houston (@Houston, TX; ABC): Going with the Sooners, but it’s hard to understate the importance of this game. Surprised it’s at 11:00am locla time.
• Hawaii @ Michigan (ESPN): Michigan.
• Missouri @ West Virginia (FS1): West Virginia.
• Western Michigan @ Northwestern (ESPNU): They may well row the boat across Lake Michigan, but… yeah. Northwestern.
• South Alabama @ Mississippi State (SEC): Miss State.

2:00: Rutgers @ Washington (Pac12): Washington.

3:30:

• Louisiana State @ Wisconsin (@Green Bay, WI; ABC): LSU, but it’d be really funny the other way around, right?
• California-Los Angeles @ Texas A&M (CBS): UCLA.
• Miami @ Iowa (FSN): Iowa (since this is the MAC Miami)
• Texas State @ Ohio (CBSS): Ohio.

4:00: Louisiana Tech @ Arkansas (SEC): Arkansas.

5:30: North Carolina vs. Georgia (@Atlanta, GA; ESPN): Georgia, but whoo boy, it’d be create if the Tar Heels could do it.

7:00: San Jose State @ Tulsa (CBSS): Tulsa.

7:30:

• Southern Mississippi @ Kentucky (ESPNU): Kentucky.
• Massachusetts @ Florida (SEC): Florida.

8:00:

• Southern California vs. Alabama (@Arlington, TX; ABC): Alabama.
• Fresno State @ Nebraska (BTN): Nebraska
• New Mexico State @ Texas-El Paso (beIN): UTEP.

9:00: Clemson @ Auburn (ESPN): Clemson.

10:30:

• Brigham Young vs. Arizona (@Glendale, AZ; FS1): Arizona.
• Northern Illinois @ Wyoming (CBSS): NIU.

Sunday

7:30: Notre Dame @ Texas (ABC): Notre Dame

Monday

8:00: Florida State vs. Mississippi (@Orlando, FL; ESPN): FSU.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Friday, August 26
10:00: Hawaii vs. California (@Sydney, Australia; ESPN): It’s the first game of American football that counts for anything since last February, and really, that’s all that really needs to be said about this game.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon: Northern Iowa @ North Dakota State (NCAA Division I Quaterfinal; ESPN): It’ll be 34 degrees at kickoff in Fargo, but no matter, since the Bison (pronounced: bizon) play in the FARGODOME. At any rate, these two Missouri Valley opponents met back in October and the Bison rallied then to win 31-28. What will happen here? Tune to find out, because it’ll probably be more competitive than the only other televised game today.

3:00: Army vs. Navy (@Philadelphia, PA; CBS): Army is 2-9. Their only victories on the season are over an equally awful Eastern Michigan squad and Bucknell, which went 4-6 otherwise in FCS play. Navy, meanwhile, finished 9-2 with a pretty legitimate shot to play for a conference title game. I have to think hard questions are being asked up in West Point about what it would take for the USMA to field a competitive football team again. Surely people who have paid closer attention than I have are asking: how are Navy and Air Force (who played for the Mountain West title) succeeding where Army has failed? After all, the Black Knights were in Conference USA from 1998 through 2004, and they weren’t challenging for any conference titles then. The last time Army had consecutive seasons where they finished .500 or better were 1988 though 1990. Since then, they’ve done so three times, most recently in 2010. The last time they beat Air Force was 2012, Navy, 2001. Suffice it to say, I’m not giving the Cadets much of a chance here.