As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon:

• Kansas State @ Oklahoma (FOX): All right, it’s been a rough week, but I’m psychin’ myself up to do some picks, do some commentary, and, well, look, this shouldn’t be close, but hey, maybe K-State can limit possessions and keep it close.
• Central Florida @ East Carolina (ABC): CENTRAL FLORIDA IS THE GREATEST TEAM EVER, AFTER I HAVE WITNESSED THEIR FULL GLORY. (Okay, happy UCF fans? Can you leave me alone now? Thanks.)
• Florida @ Mississippi (ESPN): Well, fortunately for UF, Tennessee is playing South Carolina later today, so the crazy stuff equilibrium for the SEC should be satisfied by the prime time slot instead. Rest easy, Gators.
• Georgia Southern @ Louisiana (ESPN2): Pedal to the metal now for the Eagles, but I don’t think there’s quite enough GATA-ness on this team to get after the Cajuns.
• Kentucky @ Auburn (SEC): Kentucky may be ranked, but I think they’re about to realize exactly how much of their offense depended on one dude who is no longer on the team. (That dude being the incomparable modern-day single-wing quarterback Lynn Bowden.) I have Auburn all day in this game.
• Louisville @ Pittsburgh (ACCN): I’m a college football fan who is extremely online, but yeah I’m not going to spend a lot of time watching Pitt in this one.
• Georgia Tech @ Syracuse (ACC/RSN): Well, my primary concerns for this one are: 1) waking up at 9am on a weekend and 2) checking to see if I need to re-subscribe to YouTube TV to this one. We’ll find out both of these things in about 8 hours or so! Seriously, though, the UCF game, yeah, sure, there may have been some iffy officiating, but still, we were thoroughly outclassed by UCF. (See UCF fans, I mean it!)

1:00: Florida International @ Liberty (ESPNU): Georgia State and Charlotte got canceled, so I have to talk about this one. I suppose it’s good that was the only cancellation on this weekend that was, uh, canceled this week? I dunno, I guess we have to take progress where we can get it. In the rudderless ship that is college football, though, it’s somehow even harder than usual make sense of any of this. But hey, at least I can just pick FIU on principle.

1:30: Iowa State @ Texas Christian (FS1): TCU? Probably? Maybe? I don’t got nothin’ on these Big 12 teams right now.

2:30: Tulane @ Southern Mississippi (Stadium)

3:30:

• West Virginia @ Oklahoma State (ABC): I have no reason to think WVU is especially good, so I’m going with Oklahoma State.
• Texas @ Texas Tech (FOX): Well, the college football internet would have you believe that TEXAS IS BACK. And that could well be the case. Maybe. I mean, I’d pick them to win anyway, but this game gives me the heeby-jeebies.
• Mississippi State @ Louisiana State (CBS): Okay, well, Joe Burrow plays for the Browns now, which is unfortunate, but LSU will persevere.
• Army @ Cincinnati (ESPN): Cincy is a huge favorite in this one, which I don’t quite see? Army has looked good in the games I’ve seen them, and yeah, Cincy will definitely out-talent them and I think they’ll prevail, but this is gonna be close. Take Army to cover here.
• Texas-El Paso @ Louisiana-Monroe (ESPN2): I’ll spare you having to watch UTEP by saying that ULM will win,

4:00:

• Georgia @ Arkansas (SEC): This game will start at 1:00 Pacific, by which time I should be wrapping up pre-flight on an airplane and taking the sky, and by the time I’m finished, I will have not watched a single second of this game, and I think I’ll be better for it.
• Duke @ Virginia (ACCN): I’m still coming to terms with the idea that UVA is good, okay? I just need time and space to process this.

6:00: Texas State @ Boston College (ACC/RSN): As the crow flies, it is 1720 miles from San Marcos, TX to Boston, MA. But, yeah, we definitely can’t play Clemson-South Carolina or Georgia-Georgia Tech this year. Yeah, that makes sense. But hey, BC will be able to convert some cash into a win.

7:00: Alabama @ Missouri (ESPN): You know, it’s been a while since I’ve thought about… oh, no wait it hasn’t. Even Alabama football, of all things, has been in the news-cycle that his 2020. From the Bama AD exhorting partying students in Tuscaloosa to wear masks to Nick Saban marching with his players in a protest, to even then finding out that the reason while the otherwise robotic Saban being there likely because he was there when the Kent State massacre happened (you know, “tin soldiers and Nixon’s comin’/we’re finally on our own…”). 2020, y’all. And yea, ‘Bama’s gonna roll in this one.

7:30:

• Florida State @ Miami (ABC): Well, FSU hasn’t played since losing to us, so… yeah, I’m defaulting to Miami in this one.
• Kansas @ Baylor (ESPNU): Baylor isn’t good. But Kansas is, like, really, really, not good.
• Tennessee @ South Carolina (SEC): I know this game will be awful. I know this game will be ugly. But… that’s kinda why I want to watch it? Like even to the point where I’ll pick an upset and give the Gamecocks the edge? I dunno, it’s just a feeling.
• Vanderbilt @ Texas A&M (SECA): Good thing this one is on the alternate channel, ’cause TAMU should roll.

8:00: North Carolina State @ Virginia Tech (ACCN): There’s no way I can pick VPI in this scenario, so it’s NCSU I guess?

10:15: Troy @ Brigham Young (ESPN): Well, we’re still a ways off from Pac-12 After Dark, even though I live in Pac-12 country so for me it’s always been more “Pac-12 in Prime Time”, but anyways I like BYU here.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon:

• Navy @ Tulane (ABC): Navy looked bad last week, and while it stands to reason they they’ll be a little more in shape this week, it’s still tough to call this one for them. I’ll take Tulane.
• Tulsa @ Oklahoma State (ESPN):  Oklahoma State shouldn’t have any issues.
• Louisiana @ Georgia State (ESPN2): Georgia State is kinda bad? I’ll take the Cajuns to rage here.
• Liberty @ Western Kentucky (ESPNU): Go Hilltoppers!
• Syracuse @ Pittsburgh (ACCN): Syracuse seemed to take a step back last year, and uh, without the traditional sources of internet previews I’ve come to rely on over the years this year, I have no idea what their current state is. I’ll take Pitt.
• Boston College @ Duke (ACC/RSN): Duke isn’t what was in the past under Cutcliffe, but I can’t see them losing to BC just yet.

2:30: South Florida @ Notre Dame (USA): This doesn’t figure to be pretty, but hey I guess if you want the novelty of seeing Notre Dame on a cable channel you can watch this one.

3:30:

• Central Florida @ Georgia Tech (ABC): Beating Florida State always feels good, even FSU is a shadow of its former self. (Seriously, I figured our d-line play would be improved, but FSU offensive line has somehow been atrocious for like three years running.) GT is still young, extremely young, and this actually figures to be a harder test than FSU was last week. This will be a yardstick, but it could well be one of our tougher games this year.
• Appalachian State @ Marshall (CBS): App State figures to walk in this one.
• Florida Atlantic @ Georgia Southern (ESPN): Is FAU still any good? Is Georgia Southern? Y’all, I don’t know. It’s early in the season, it’s week 3 and the teams that have played have played like one game, and I’m so slammed with work that I haven’t had time to do even the most superficial of research. So, uh, Southern?

4:00: Troy @ Middle Tennessee State (Battle for the Palladium; ESPN2): THIS IS ACTUALLY RIVALRY GAME. SUPPOSEDLY. MAYBE. IT’S GOT A WIKIPEDIA PAGE. But yeah I like Troy.

6:00: Southern Methodist @ North Texas (CBSS): I’m going with the Ponies here? Yeah, I’ve just received word—I’m going with the Mustangs.

7:30:

• Miami @ Louisville (ABC): I’m picking Miami here mostly on the assumption that Louisville is still garbage. That’s a college football opinion from like two years ago, but look, that’s what I got right now.
• Louisiana Tech @ Southern Mississippi (ESPN2): Okay, one piece of current college football news that I am up on is that they were so good last week they fired their coach. Or he resigned, who can say? Either way, yeah, I’ll take LT over an interim coaching staff.
• Texas State @ Louisiana-Monroe (ESPNU): Just picking ULM out of reflex out of this point. I’ll say this about the Big Ten: I definitely have a better idea of how, say, Indiana or Northwestern is doing in a given year than the Texas States of the world,

8:00: Wake Forest @ North Carolina State (ACCN): It feels like every year is the year NCSU is finally going to win more than 9 games, so this year seems as good as any to pick them.

Yeah, look, I’m just as surprised as you are.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Thursday

8:00: Central Arkansas @ Alabama-Birmingham (espn3.com): Mostly just posting this one because, well, for obvious reasons this weekend is greatly diminished, and also because I enjoy the Shutdown Fullcast joke about UCA being a bunch of Ozark ronin.

9:00: South Alabama @ Southern Mississippi (CBSS): I have no idea which, if either, of these teams are going to be good this year. But here you are: FBS vs. FBS football. I’ll pick USM.

Saturday

1:00: Eastern Kentucky @ Marshall (ESPN): Naturally, because of the pandemic there is no PAX this year. So I have plenty of time to watch the first full weekend of college football. Which is, of course, also not really its normal self during the pandemic. Also, Marshall.

1:30: Middle Tennessee State @ Army (CBSS): So instead we’ll get this nicely spaced out slate that features no Power 5 teams. Army will get in the first of its eight home games this year. Has that ever happened before? Well, since WWII anyway? Also, my site I use for TV listings started calling Army “Army West Point”, and while I do respect anyone’s decision to be called whatever they want, Army is still referred to plenty as just Army, so I’ll stick to that. (I have finally caved and started referring to Louisiana-Lafayette as just Louisiana, though.) Oh, and I like Army here.

4:30: Southern Methodist @ Texas State (ESPN): I am as unsure about everything as I about most of these contests, but I’m pretty sure Texas State will still be terrible.

8:00: Arkansas State @ Memphis (ESPN): I’ll also assume that Memphis is still fun and good.

Monday

8:00: Brigham Young @ Navy (ESPN): I need to check, but I think BYU may be the only FBS team west of the Rockies that is playing football this year. I’ll also take Navy here.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon: Illinois State @ North Dakota State (NCAA Division I Quarterfinal; ESPN)

3:00: Army vs. Navy (@Philadelphia, PA; CBS): Well, while I recommend watching the FCS playoffs if you get the chance, this is pretty much it for the season. Unfortunately for my preferred Army side, it looks like the Cadets have dropped off a bit while the Midshipmen were damn competitive in the strongest Group of Five conference this season. It’s hard to see this one as anything other than a Navy win, but it should hopefully still be worth watching.

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Friday

8:00: Oregon vs. Utah (Pac-12 Conference Championship @ Santa Clara, CA; ABC): Well, it’s not quite the matchup of 1-loss teams the Pac-12 was so desperately hoping for. Instead, the Pac-12 needs the Utes to pull through to have any shot of getting anyone into the playoff, and even then it’s not obvious they’d get in over, say, Oklahoma. Utah appears to be a better team, but I also think Oregon will stress their (very good) defense the most since they played (and lost to) USC. So it’s not a walk for the Utes at all, who could definitely use an impressive victory.

Saturday

Noon:

• Baylor vs. Oklahoma (Big 12 Conference Championship @ Arlington, TX; ABC): Oklahoma’s defense will probably keep this interesting, but I like the Sooners here in the neutral-site rematch.
• Louisiana-Lafayette @ Appalachian State (Sun Belt Conference Championship; ESPN): The Cajuns are sure to be Ragin’, but I think App State is just as good and they’re at home.
• Miami vs. Central Michigan (Mid-American Conference Championship @ Detroit, MI; ESPN2): CMU should win this one easily, but given the history of MAC championship games that means this could go either way.

1:30: Alabama-Birmingham @ Florida Atlantic (Conference USA Championship; CBSS): Go Blazers!

3:30: Cincinnati @ Memphis (American Athletic Conference Championship; ABC): It’s one thing when you’ve got a Baylor-Oklahoma situation, where the first game was over a month ago. Things have changed since then. Meanwhile, these two met last week, and Memphis won easily at home. I think they’ll be able to pull that off again.

4:00:

• Georgia vs. Louisiana State (Southeastern Conference Championship @ Atlanta, GA; CBS): At no point in UGA’s 52-7 drubbing of us last week did I think to myself “you know, Jake Fromm looks like a competent, poised passer”. Georgia’s best bet is that their defense shuts LSU down and that they can keep it close and win like 17-3. Otherwise I think LSU enters the half with a slim lead and then expands it in the second half.
• Hawaii @ Boise State (Mountain West Conference Championship; ESPN): This game is either going to be close, fun, and pointsy (with a Boise win), or Boise will win easily since it figures to be cold and wet for this one.

7:30: Clemson vs. Virginia (Atlantic Coast Conference Championship @ Charlotte, NC; ABC): Clemson’s going to be able to name their own score in this one.

8:00: Ohio State vs. Wisconsin (Big Ten Conference Championship @ Indianapolis, IN; FOX): Wisky figure to offer Ohio State slightly more resistance than Virginia will to Clemson, but not much. Yeah, on this day the interesting games are early, y’all.