As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon:

• North Carolina State @ Louisville (ABC): Both Clemson and Louisville seem to be in a bit of a funk after their game against the other, with Clemson struggling against NC State just last week. To their credit, the Wolfpack have made themselves a pain to play, but I think the Cardinals are ready to step back on to the stage. Nonetheless, this should be a fun one to watch.
• Wisconsin @ Iowa (ESPN): Wisconsin 12, Iowa 5, book it.
• Texas @ Kansas State (ESPN2): This game could well get Charlie Strong fired (if not now, later). But I still have a hard time picking against Texas here.
• Oklahoma State @ Kansas (FS1): In these ever changing times, this world of chaos, there is one constant. And that constant is that the Kansas Jayhawks are not very good at football.
• Rutgers @ Minnesota (ESPNU): But goodness me they’re still better than Rutgers. Can someone run the numbers and see if there’s been a worse “major” Division I team since, say, 1950?
• Central Florida @ Connecticut (ESPNU): Some teams are content to ignore or forget about their rivalries, but UCF straight up hates that UConn more-or-less unilaterally declared this a rivalry (the Civil ConfliCT or some nonsene). Heck, they hate it so much that it may just warp all the way around into… being a rivalry. Just food for thought there. (I also like the Knights here.)
• Massachusetts @ South Carolina (SEC): Gamecocks.
• Indiana @ Northwestern (BTN): This won’t be the best game in this time slot, no. But it could be one of the most interesting, especially given the role-reversal that’s taken place among the Big Ten’s lower-tier of teams this year. (As in, “wait, Indiana plays defense now?”)

12:30: Syracuse @ Boston College (ACC): In three ACC games so far, Boston College has twenty-four points. 24! Syracuse is going to romp.

3:00:

• North Carolina @ Virginia (ACC/RSN): Okay, so UVA is finally not awful again, but Carolina is still probably better.
• Colorado @ Stanford (Pac12): The revolution in the Pac-12 will, in fact, be televised. Well, if you live in the Pac-12 footprint and get Comcast or DISH Network, anyway. What I’m trying to say is the Buffs are going to stampede down on the farm. By the way, the Pac-12’s complaints about their TV schedule bore some fruit: this is Stanford’s first Noon (Pacific Time) kick in like four years.

3:30

• Texas A&M @ Alabama (CBS): It’s the SEC game of the week, and Alabama is favored by… 19 points. Oof. TAMU is the #6 team in the country, even! Now, of course, this is where we remind you that the lines set by our friends in arid regions are not really predictive and intended to stimulate the action, as it were. So you just know that the books are sizzling with people taking TAMU here. But then, as you walk to the next available window at your favorite sportsbook and think one last time about the possibilities, you think about how Alabama has scored a defensive touchdown in every game this season, and how they actually have a mobile quarterback now and a dynamic offense. This is an Alabama team that scores in bunches. By the time you’ve started talking, you realize you just said “Alabama to cover”. That’s how they get you, folks.
• Purdue @ Nebraska (ABC/ESPN2): Meanwhile, Purdue football is a thing that exists, for some reason. Seriously, can we just relegate Purdue and Rutgers and promote, like, Western Michigan? Hell, the Broncos will probably finish with more Big Ten wins than those two teams. Combined.
• Texas Christian @ West Virginia (ABC/ESPN2): I try not to curse (too much) on this blog, so I won’t post a picture of my favorite West Virginia thing: a t-shirt from like 5 years ago spotted at a WVU basketball game that said “WEST [effin’] VIRGINIA” and I think of it every time I see them now. On a related note, did you know the Mountaineers are 5-0? I mean, they still haven’t really played anyone and beat BYU and Kansas State by a combined 4 points, but still, it’s more fun when Holgo is operating his offense at full blast. So, yeah, expect points here. (And a WFV victory.)
• Illinois @ Michigan (BTN): Illinois is right there in the awful zone of Big Ten teams, setting up a nice little 3-way tie with themselves, Purdue, and Rutgers (seriously). So, yeah, Michigan’s going to win by, well, however much they want, really.
• Memphis @ Navy (CBSS): Okay, full disclosure: I’m going to be sipping wine while most of today’s games happen. (Well, in this case, probably eating lunch.) Seriously, though, if/when the Tide go up by 30 on the Aggies, find the CBS Sports Network channel and settle in for this.

3:45: Tulane @ Tulsa (ESPNU): You might be wondering how I can be flippant about a game where the teams involved are 4-2 and 3-3, but trust me on this: Tulsa.

4:00:

• Utah @ California-Los Angeles (FOX): I mean, my instinct was to pick UCLA here, but… Utah is 6-1 and suffered their only loss in the weird vortex that is California Memorial Stadium. The Bruins meanwhile have lost two straight to Arizona State and Wazzou, and their starting QB is hurt. It doesn’t really look good for them, at all.
• Middle Tennessee State @ Missouri (SEC): Mizzou isn’t even one of those teams that’s awful on offense but really good on defense, they’re just… kinda bad. I like the Blue Raiders here.

5:30: Charlotte @ Marshall (beIN): Herd.

6:00: Arkansas @ Auburn (ESPN): Auburn has been better than I think anyone expected and I think Gus Malzahn saved his job, but I still like the Razorbacks here.

6:30: Oregon State @ Washington (Pac12): UDub is basically the Michigan of the Pac-12, and, well, Oregon State is like the, uh, Minnesota?

7:00:

• Houston @ Southern Methodist (ESPN2): Houston’s looked shaky the past couple of weeks, so a trip up to Dallas could be just what the doctor ordered.
• East Carolina @ Cincinnati (CBSS): Elsewhere in the American Athletic Conference, the bottom two teams in their Eastern division. Uh, ECU, I guess? (Seriously, who saw Cincy being this bad this year?)

7:30:

• Mississippi State @ Kentucky (SEC): Kentucky’s poached two SEC wins so far this season (seriously, what the hell, Vandy?), but I don’t think they’ll make it three.
• Michigan State @ Maryland (BTN): Maryland: slightly less awful than anyone thought. Michigan State: much, much more awful than anyone thought. This one might just be bad, folks. And I like the Terps.

8:00

• Ohio State @ Pennsylvania State (ABC): Well, Michigan beat Penn State 49-10, so… I’m thinking the Buckeyes win by at least 40.
• Oklahoma @ Texas Tech (FOX): Whatever mojo Kliff Kingsbury had when he first arrived in Lubbock, well, it seems to be gone now. Sooners.

9:00: Mississippi @ Louisiana State (ESPN): One of the reasons cited for DACOACHO’s success as an interim coach at USC and so far at LSU has been the lessons he learned at Ole Miss. Basically, he did a complete 180 from a tough-guy type coach to a player’s coach. And it seems to be working. With the way the Tigers are playing on offense now, and at night, in Baton Rouge… yeah, I think LSU here.

10:00: Washington State @ Arizona State (Pac12): Eh, the Cougars gotta drop another one at some point. Keeps things interesting, people on their toes, that sort of thing.

10:30:

• Wyoming @ Nevada (ESPN2): Still not a Wyoming home game. Come on ESPN, don’t hold off those wonderful brown home jerseys.
• Fresno State @ Utah State (CBSS): Uh, the teams in this game are a combined 1-10. You have my permission to skip this one, it’s cool. (I also like the Aggies.)

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon:

• North Carolina State @ Clemson (ABC): Clemson still seems like a fully functional battle-station, so I’m taking them here.
• Kansas State @ Oklahoma (ESPN): The Big 12 is just a mess right now, and in so many ways. On-the-field, off-the-field, it doesn’t matter. And while it would seem pretty Big 12 for Oklahoma to drop this game after knocking off Texas, well, I don’t see it.
• Iowa @ Purdue (ESPN2): There’s not much that would make Kirk Ferentz’s extension more ridiculous at this point, so… go Boilermakers!
• West Virginia @ Texas Tech (FS1): I suspect the defense is going to let down the Red Raiders once again. By the day, did you know West Virginia is still undefeated? I don’t know how much longer it’ll last, but yeah, they’re currently 4-0.
• Minnesota @ Maryland (ESPNU): I still don’t know how to cope with the idea that Maryland isn’t completely terrible. In fact, I’ll pick them over the Golden Gophers.
• Illinois @ Rutgers (ESPNEWS): Illinois is bad, but… yeah.
• Vanderbilt @ Georgia (SEC): While obviously the most hilarious outcome would be for Vandy to win, well… I don’t see it. I just don’t.

12:30:

• Pittsburgh @ Virginia (ACC): Virginia is 2-3 overall, but they’ve been surprisingly not awful? I don’t think they’re good enough to beat this Pitt team, but still.
• Georgia Southern @ Georgia Tech (ACC/RSN): We could have won the Pitt game. We probably even should have! But even while watching, I never got the sense we were much better than them. I think the sequence that I disliked the most was probably after they committed a couple of penalties and faced 1st and 35. Three quick passes later, and it was a Pitt first down. I can’t think of any better indictment of Ted Roof’s defense.

3:30:

• Alabama @ Tennessee (CBS): It is actually the third Saturday in October! Tennessee is still one of the most inherently unstable teams in college football, but you really need a lot more than just luck to beat Bama.
• Southern California @ Arizona (FOX): USC looked suddenly competent last week, so sure, let’s go with the Trojans.
• North Carolina @ Miami (ABC/ESPN2): Both these teams are good, but I think Miami has at least as much defensive talent as Virginia Tech, and they completely shut down Carolina last weekend. That said, the issue with many past Miami teams has been one of attitude, so we’ll see what Richt’s effect is after last week’s heartbreaking loss to FSU.
• Nebraska @ Indiana (ABC/ESPN2): Did you notice Nebraska is 5-0? I hadn’t either until I was writing this. Regardless, while I think this is definitely a game Indiana team, I’ll go with the Huskers.
• Wake Forest @ Florida State (ESPN): While this is the tenth anniversary of one of Wake’s upsets of FSU, it’s basically impossible to pick a repeat.
• Kansas @ Baylor (FS1): Baylor.
• New Mexico vs. Air Force (@Dallas, TX; ESPNEWS): Air Force.
• Northwestern @ Michigan State (BTN): So… uh, Michigan State is really not good this year, huh? Northwestern, as odd as that feels.
• Western Michigan @ Akron (CBSS): ROW THAT BOAT (to P.J. Fleck’s new job this offseason).

3:45: Virginia Tech @ Syracuse (ESPNU): VPI.

4:00:

• Missouri @ Florida (SEC): We’ll get to it in a month, but that LSU-Florida game did wind up getting rescheduled. For this game, well, Mizzou is just too offensively challenged to really pick them for an upset.
• Utah @ Oregon State (Pac12): I’m still dealing with the idea that Oregon State is probably better than Oregon this year, so at least let me pick the Utes here and be done with it.

7:00:

• Mississippi @ Arkansas (ESPN): Arkansas started hot, but suddenly they’re 0-2 in conference play. It’s still mid-October, and they still have a chance to impact in November, but right now, it’s not looking that good.
• Tulsa @ Houston (ESPN2): It seems almost like the pressure got to the Cougars, and I suspect ESPN is regretting this pick after they lost to Navy last weekend. Regardless, Houston is still really good and still a massive favorite in most of their remaining games.
• Connecticut @ South Florida (CBSS): USF might be kinda good?
• Texas-San Antonio @ Rice (beIN): Unlike, you know, either of these teams. But hey, you probably get beIN Sports, so it’s my duty to list it. Uh, going with the Roadrunners.

7:30:

• Southern Mississippi @ Louisiana State (SEC): While Southern Miss did beat Kentucky, they’ve also already lost to Troy and UT-San Antonio. So yeah, I’m not going to go crazy with picking them against LSU.
• Stanford @ Notre Dame (NBC): Uh… yeah. Neither of these teams can move the ball. Christian McCaffety is hurt and may not play. Notre Dame’s coach may be a terrible human being. I have no idea why you would watch this game. I’m going to pick Stanford on general principal.
• Temple @ Central Florida (ESPNU): It seems as though UCF is slight better and they’re at home.

8:00:

• Ohio State @ Wisconsin (ABC): I don’t put a lot of stock on lines, but the line on this game is Ohio State by 10. Now let us consider that Michigan beat the Badgers at home 14-7. Let us also consider that Michigan just went out and demolished Rutgers by about 20 more points than the Buckeyes did. Put these things together, and Ohio State may be out to prove a point.
• Arizona State @ Colorado (Pac12): If the Buffs can win this one, I’ll be ready to believe. But not quite yet.

10:15: Colorado State @ Boise State (ESPN): Boise’s back, y’all.

10:30:

• California-Los Angeles @ Washington State (ESPN2): Yep, it’s pretty much going according to plan for Wazzou. After having disrupted the Pac-12 North race, which could very well come down to the Apple Cup (?!??!), it’s their chance to really make the South a mess. And they might well do so!
• Nevada @ San Jose State (CBSS): Provided the Wolfpack can find their way to San Jose, I don’t think they’ll have any other trouble.

I have to confess, y’all: when I was walking home tonight, I considered doing these picks all rapid-fire like in the form of a video. But then I considered that for the video to be anything other than me drunkenly rambling off attributes of college football teams, I’d actually need to some preparation, which, well, would probably have wound taking as long as it normally does to write this, if not longer. So!

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Saturday

11:30: Cincinnati @ Connecticut (CBSS): Wake up early for this battle of the… two teams at the basement of the AAC East division? Okay, maybe don’t. Also going with Cincy.

Noon:

• Notre Dame @ North Carolina State (ABC): The Wolfpack are 3-1, but, well, even at 2-3 the Domers are their stiffest test of the year thus far. Also not helping the ‘Pack is that Notre Dame was rejuvenated last week against Syracuse, to to the tune of scoring 50. So I’m going with them.
• Louisiana State @ Florida Auburn @ Mississippi State (ESPN): This game slides up from the SEC Network slot and, in some ways, this is might be Fired Bowl II. Dan Mullen is not exactly having a very good go of it this year, and unlike his counterpart across the field this year, he did not beat LSU. In addition, Miss State only beat UMass by 8 last week. Oof. I think Auburn’s going to win this one, which might make Gus Malzahn some sort of Southern grim reaper.
• Iowa @ Minnesota (ESPN2): The only appropriate scenario for this game is for Kirk Ferentz’s contract to become more of a joke, so yeah, Minnesota’s going to win.
• Texas vs. Oklahoma (@Dallas, TX; FS1): I have no idea what to say about this game, other than that since Oklahoma a) blew it last year and b) is kinda not having a great season this year means that they’ll defy expectations and win by 40. That will also make the “we don’t fire coaches mid-season” thing even more uncomfortable down in Austin.
• Texas Christian @ Kansas (ESPNU): TCU.
• East Carolina @ South Florida (ESPNEWS): USF.
• Maryland @ Pennsylvania State (BTN): I’m not sure I’m prepared for a universe where Maryland doesn’t suck, but I’m pretty okay with one where they beat Penn State.

12:30: Georgia Tech @ Pittsburgh (ACC): Elsewhere in Pennsylvania, Georgia Tech will play at Heinz Field to take on the Pittsburgh Panthers.
Okay, so there’s a lot of ways to approach this game. This team’s got issues, but quitting isn’t one of them, at least. Frankly, I think Miami is getting way too much of a pass for basically winning on a pair of defensive touchdowns. Of course, while that was pretty much the worst possible outcome on those pairs of plays, it’s not like the offensive line covered themselves in glory in valiant effort to prevent Justin Thomas from getting blindsided on the first one, so yeah. It wasn’t a good look! Yet, this team is still better than last year’s version. Are they good enough to beat an improved Pitt team that has, by all indications, a pretty good run defense? We’re about to find out!

3:00: Houston @ Navy (CBSS): This vintage of Navy isn’t good enough to really challenge Houston, but this one contains a very slight chance it could be entertaining as hell. It’s probably the most interesting game the Cougars will play until they play Louisville next month.

3:30:

• Tennessee @ Texas A&M (CBS): Don’t look, but TAMU is very quietly 3-0 in the SEC, with their strongest effort being the time they pulled away from Arkansas in the second half. Their other two SEC wins are less impressive, but they’re still good. My hunch is that this were the luck runs out for the Vols.
• Virginia Tech @ North Carolina (ABC/ESPN2): It’s the first reverse split of the year! Woo! Anyway, enough geeking out about TV coverage, let’s talk this important battle in the ACC Coastal. Carolina still can’t defend anyone, but it’s cool because they’ve still got an offense to match. We’ve still only got early returns in so far, but it looks like VPI is also offensively competent for the first time in, well, awhile. Still going with UNC until I get a better feel for what’s going in in Blacksburg.
• Brigham Young @ Michigan State (ABC/ESPN2): Losing by a combined score of 54-27 to Wisconsin and Indiana is not the brand of football I generally associated with Michigan State, but here we are. Fortunately for them, BYU has been slightly more challenged against defenses that have a pulse, so this should work out slightly better for them.
• Indiana @ Ohio State (ESPN): “Hey so Indiana beat Michigan State last week, maybe they can—” No, just stop right there.
• Iowa State @ Oklahoma State (ESPNU): Iowa State is still kinda bad, so there at least some constants in this world.
• Purdue @ Illinois (BTN): Well, this definitely isn’t the game that will make me complain that Comcast doesn’t carry the Big Ten Network in HD here. Uh, Illinois I guess?
• Army @ Duke (ACC/RSN): Things looked to be going well for Army with a legitimate chance at getting to 6 wins, but then they lost to Buffalo. They’re currently 3-1 and they play two FCS teams, so only one of them will count. So that’s probably 4-1. From there, they need to beat two out of Duke, North Texas, Wake Forest, Air Force, Notre Dame, and Navy. The only win I see on there is UNT, so yeah, it’s an uphill battle now.

4:00:

• Vanderbilt @ Kentucky (SEC): Seriously, move Alabama and Auburn to the East and Kentucky or Vandy to the West. No one will notice this game doesn’t get played all that often as a result. I promise. In the meantime, uh, well, maybe a Vandy will finally put Mark Stoops out of his misery?
• Colorado @ Southern California (Pac12): I think Colorado being “back” is going to be pretty short-lived, as it appears that yeah, Oregon just is that bad. The Trojans meanwhile managed to get the ship to stop listing as much with a pretty resounding win over Arizona State, which is a trend that I think will continue here.

6:30: Northern Illinois @ Western Michigan (CBSS): PJ Fleck continues rowing to a once-in-a-lifetime payday.

7:00:

• Alabama @ Arkansas (ESPN): The conventional wisdom in college football is that when a team is known for doing something really well, you don’t try to beat them at their own game. This often takes the form of a phase like “you’re not going to out-Alabama Alabama”. Often cited exampled are when Michigan State played Alabama in a bowl game a couple years ago, where they, well, failed to out-Alabama Alabama despite trying very hard to to do so. On the flip, this occasionally works, such as last weekend when Washington announced to the nation the Huskies are for real by out-Stanfording Stanford. I have a feeling, though, that will prove out to be the exception that proves the rule.
• Michigan @ Rutgers (ESPN2): Name your score, Wolverines.
• Texas Tech @ Kansas State (ESPNU): I just don’t see how K-State can score enough points to win this game.
• Syracuse @ Wake Forest (ACC/RSN): I can’t believe I’m about to type this, but here we are: I’m picking Wake Forest.

7:30: Washington @ Oregon (FOX): So, yeah, I’m going to guess this isn’t quite what FOX signed up for when they picked this game. This figures to be a national coming out party for UDub, and whatever the opposite of that is for the Ducks.

8:00: Florida State @ Miami (ABC): Speaking of proving a point, the ‘Canes will look to do that here against what looks like a shadow of the FSU teams of the past few years. This FSU team is still good, don’t get me wrong, but they’re not one of the best two teams in the ACC right now, and after this game, they probably won’t even be in the top three.

9:00: California @ Oregon State (Pac12): Well, Oregon has this last least: they are not nearly as catastrophically bad as Oregon State is right now. I’m not sure the Beavers are going to win a game, but they’re playing Cal this week, so the Bears will either win 60-3 or lose 12-9, who knows. While I’m here, let’s all enjoy a private moment and chuckle about the fact Cal won their game against Utah last week on a goal line stand.

10:00:

• Arizona @ Utah (FS1): Speaking of Da U(tes), their inability to score on Cal’s defense aside, I think they’re still a better team than Arizona.
• Utah State @ Colorado State (CBSS): Uh, Aggies, I guess? The bottom of the Mountain West looks pretty brutal this year, y’all.

10:30:

• Washington State @ Stanford (ESPN): If you’re wondering why all of a sudden people are starting to stick a fork in Oregon, it’s because they played Wazzou last weekend and it was bad. Washington State, a team that pretty much only runs to set up the pass, rushed for 280 yards of offense. Don’t worry though, they still threw the ball 48 times for 371 yards and won 51-33. Yeah. Naturally, this of course means things are pretty much going to plan for the Cougars: lose to an FCS team, then reel off a respectable conference run and make a bowl game. All that said, and despite what happened to Stanford last week, yeah, Stanford’s still going to win.
• California-Los Angeles @ Arizona State (ESPN2): It’s UCLA’s turn with the Sun Devils, and think the results will be pretty similar to what their cross-town rivals did.
• Nevada-Las Vegas @ San Diego State (ESPNU): SDSU is probably going to make the Mountain West title game, so naturally they were last seen two weeks ago losing by 18 to South Alabama. Whoops. They should be able to take care of business here though.

Sunday

2:30: Georgia @ South Carolina (SEC): 10 years ago I probably would’ve recommended watching this game over the NFL, but, well, we’ve got the Red Zone channel these days and the NFL really has gotten more interesting as they’ve cribbed offensive ideas from college and there’s really no reason to subject yourself to Big Dumb Will Muschamp Football. At any rate, Georgia should be able to get over what happened last week pretty quickly.