As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Saturday

Noon:

• Pennsylvania State @ West Virginia (FOX): And finally, welcome back to College Football Saturday! Y’all, I think this is a perfectly wonderful way to come back. Well, maybe not this particular game, which will kind of be a theme of this weekend. Penn State should have this one easy.
• Clemson vs. Georgia (Aflac Kickoff Game @ Atlanta, GA; ABC): That said, this is a game of the day, and it’s kind of weirdly… early? Like, why isn’t this in prime time? Oh, sure, the “dawgs” are a huge favorite, and, well, I don’t have a lot of reasons to disagree. That said, this Clemson team should still be game enough to test them, and this should be worth watching.
• Virginia Tech @ Vanderbilt (ESPN): Whereas, well, I suspect the Hokies got this…
• Connecticut @ Maryland (FS1): … and so do the Terps.
• Illinois State @ Iowa (BTN)
• Indiana State @ Purdue (BTN)
• Kent State @ Pittsburgh (ESPNU): Y’all, I promise to try to talk about every FBS vs. FBS game, but, look, I may need until we get into conference season in a week or two.
• Bucknell @ Navy (CBSS)
• Austin Peay @ Louisville (ACCN)

12:45: Tennessee-Chattanooga @ Tennessee (SEC)

2:00: South Dakota State @ Oklahoma State (ESPN+)

2:30: Towson @ Cincinnati (ESPN+)

3:00: Portland State @ Washington State (CW)

3:30:

• Miami @ Florida (ABC): There’s not really a fantastic name for this rivalry, but it’s a rivalry nonetheless. I personally… do not understand any of the hype around the Canes at all, and also, it really feeds into the “ACC is imploding” memes if Florida wins, so I’m going with that.
• Akron @ Ohio State (CBS): Yeah, we’re in season two of the “B1G on CBS”, but still, the idea of CBS showing football this early is somewhat disorienting. I suspect that the first weekend of the US Open might be slightly better content than this, but, well, I’ve never talked about tennis on here, so I’m probably wrong.
• Texas-El Paso @ Nebraska (FOX): As usual, I want UTEP to be fun, but I’ll need some results before Is tart calling them to beat Nebraska.
• Colorado State @ Texas (ESPN): Unlike the above, I have zero worries about the Longhorns being able to handle business here.
• North Dakota @ Iowa State (FS1)
• Miami @ Northwestern (BTN): The main reason to watch most Northwestern home games this season will be to see if a wayward kick goes into Lake Michigan. That said, no worries for the Cats here.
• Florida International @ Indiana (BTN): 9Windiana has to get started somewhere, eh?
• Merrimack @ Air Force (CBSS)
• Ohio @ Syracuse (ACCN): I have no idea what to expect from the Orange here, so how the handle a… probably not very good MAC team will indicate a lot to me for the rest of the season.
• Kennesaw State @ Texas-San Antonio (ESPN+)
• Eastern Michigan @ Massachusetts (ESPN+)
• Western Illinois @ Northern Illinois (ESPN+)
• East Tennessee State @ Appalachian State (ESPN+)

4:00: Boise State @ Georgia Southern (ESPNU): This, low-key, may be one of the games of the day. Regional G5 teams traveling to play at home is a wonderful thing and we’d definitely like to see more of it. I definitely think that, on paper, Boise has the edge here, but y’all, we’re talking about a 4:00 PM Eastern kick below the gnat belt down in Statesboro. I think just about anything can happen in this one. I still like Boise, but this could be one of the best games of the day.

4:15: Old Dominion @ South Carolina (SEC): Whereas, well, I’m not sure what the Gamecocks have now, but it’s probably(?) enough to beat ODU.

5:00:

• California-Davis @ California (ACCNX)
• Stony Brook @ Marshall (ESPN+)
• North Texas @ South Alabama (ESPN+)

6:00:

• Richmond @ Virginia (ACCNX)
• Norfolk State @ East Carolina (ESPN+)
• Campbell @ Liberty (ESPN+)
• Eastern Kentucky @ Mississippi STate (ESPN+)

6:30: Idaho State @ Oregon State (CW)

7:00:

• Western Kentucky @ Alabama (ESPN): Well, there’s a new sheriff in town down in Tuscaloosa, but the real tests won’t start for another couple of weeks. If you’re young, though, please let me remind you: it is not manifest destiny for the Crimson Tide to be one of the major powers in this sport. Trust me.
• Nevada-Las Vegas @ Houston (FS1): UNLV is definitely getting a bit of a glow-up this offseason, whereas no one seems to know what to do with post-Dana Houston. So I guess I like the Runnin’ Rebels here?
• Tarleton State @ Baylor (ESPN+)
• Tennessee-Martin @ Kansas State (ESPN+)
• Tennessee Tech @ Middle Tennessee State (ESPN+)
• Furman @ Mississippi (ESPN+)
• North Alabama @ Memphis (ESPN+)
• Sam Houston State @ Rice (ESPN+)
• Bethune-Cookman @ South Florida (ESPN+)
• Central Arkansas @ Arkansas State (ESPN+)
• Nevada @ Troy (ESPN+)

7:30:

• Fresno State @ Michigan (NBC): Michigan has no idea who their quarterback is, but that has no bearing on this game.
• Notre Dame @ Texas A&M (ABC): Speaking of new eras, it’s A&M’s first post-Jimbo game, because, well, they actually did the thing! And, well, they’ll probably lose this one.
• California-Los Angeles @ Hawaii (CBS): UCLA gets some exercise, fresh air, and an easy win over in the islands before heading for the Midwest.
• Idaho @ Oregon (BTN)
• Alabama A&M @ Auburn (ESPN+)
• Abilene Christian @ Texas Tech (ESPN+)

7:45: Southern Mississippi @ Kentucky (SEC): In addition to being old enough to remember when Alabama was bad, I remember when Southern Miss was good, which included beating Bama. Alas, well, I don’t like their chances these days against the SEC.

8:00:

• Texas A&M-Commerce @ San Diego State (truTV)
• James Madison @ Charlotte (ESPNU): Charlotte weirdly has a lot of starters missing, so I’m going JMU in this one.
• Georgia State @ Georgia Tech (ACCN): Y’all. Where do I even start? Like, we ran straight down their throats in Dublin. Is that just, like, how good we are, or more “game in Ireland” weirdness. I dunno, we lost to Bowling Green last season, so for both myself and my fellow Tech friends… stay frosty, y’all.
• Robert Morris @ Utah State (MWN)
• Houston Christian @ Southern Methodist (ACCNX)
• Southern Illinois @ Brigham Young (ESPN+)
• Nicholls State @ Louisiana Tech (ESPN+)
• Grambling State @ Louisiana (ESPN+
• Lamar @ Texas State (ESPN+)

9:00: Southeast Missouri State @ New Mexico State (ESPN+)

10:30:

• New Mexico @ Arizona (ESPN): Zona has this, right?
• Wyoming @ Arizona State (FS1): State has this, right? (Actually, I have way more doubt about State here.)

11:00: Weber State @ Washington (BTN)

Sunday

7:30: Southern California vs. Louisiana State (Vegas Kickoff Classic @ Las Vegas, NV; ABC): This may be legitimately one of the best games of the opening weekend. Obviously, we’re not much for NFL stadium neutral games this early in the season, but these teams are both playoff contenders with tons of questions. Like, can USC actually move the ball? Can LSU both replace all the talent they lost and rise to the level expected based on the talent they lost? It’s a huge conundrum that will require several weeks of this season to resolve, but we’ll likely be writing in a week that we have a read on these teams based on this one. So who knows? I tend to prefer LSU, but I won’t be surprised by any result here.

Monday

7:30: Boston College @ Florida State (ESPN): And finally… FSU will win an ACC game this season. I guarantee it.