Monthly Archives: September 2007

On Notice! (Belated Week 1 Edition)

Everyone’s (well, the like 3 people who read this thing, anyway) favorite weekly feature announcing who sucked last week in CFB is back for it’s second season!



1) University of Michigan –
This one is pretty obvious, but in case you didn’t know UM lost to D1-AA (I refuse to call it the “Championship Subdivision”) Appalachian State 34-32. WTG guys.
2) University of Virginia – Now we enter the Crappy ACC teams section of the post. UVA lost to Wyoming, and from what I hear, their QB looked pretty awful.
3) North Carolina State University – Lost to UCF – good job Tom O’Brien.
4) Duke University – Lost to UConn 45-14 in what was probably their best chance to win a game this season. The L streak is now at 21 and counting.
5) Sports Media – 2 things here: First, Lloyd Carr is not going to get fired at Michigan, no matter what those idiots keep calling for in their columns. Second, almost all the articles about the GT-ND game are about how much ND sucks, and in some you have a hard time telling what team they even played against. It’d be nice to give a little credit to GT for being a pretty good team, but I haven’t seen any mainstream articles about this.
6) Charlie Weis – In retrospect, he must have been withholding the starting QB because he knew they all sucked. A “genius” should be able to get it done with less than top-flight talent and have his team looking at least somewhat prepared in Week 1.
7) Early Polls – Michigan at #5 looks pretty dumb right now. As does having FSU at #19 and BC and GT unranked. Good job dumbasses. (BTW, if anyone from the BlogPoll reads this, I would love to vote, and will announce my love for all things poll related)
8) Samford – Little D1-AA cupcake action coming up this weekend for GT – posters on GT message boards are like “if we don’t take this seriously, we’ll end up like Michigan!!!!1111”. This is an obviously dumb statement – Samford and App State aren’t even close in terms of talent. Plus, they’re the Bulldogs.

Week One

Most of this week’s games were mismatches of talent, but that didn’t stop a large portion of the major powers from struggling (or in one case falling flat on their faces). Penn State, Florida, Oklahoma, and West Virginia took care of business, but…

LSU 45, Mississippi State 0: The final score here is misleading. LSU scored 17 points off of four interceptions in the first half, the final touchdown coming as time expired. You’d expect more from a highly-touted SEC offense. Bulldog quarterback Michael Henig looked awful the entire night and literally threw away the hard work of his persistent defense. Mississippi State coach Sylvester Croom is still optimistic about his chances. Looking at his schedule, though, he would be lucky to win half of his games.

Virginia Tech 17, East Carolina 7: C’mon now. 17 points against a minor team from the Big East with a pirate as a mascot? 7 of which came from an interception-turned-touchdown? Pitiful. The Hokies travel to Baton Rouge next Saturday. I don’t think they’ll win.

Texas 21, Arkansas State 13: Two missed field goals, an interception in the end zone, and a penalty on a successful onside kick prevented Arkansas State from bringing down the Longhorns. Texas failed four straight attempts to score from the Indians’ three yard line. Their quarterback is still named Colt McCoy. He’s not VINCE YOUNG, but the name is still awesome.

Auburn 23, Kansas State 13: This was not the season opener I was expecting from my Tigers. Kansas State seemed to run the same short passing play once or twice every series, and Auburn did little to slow them down. The Wildcats even ran some double reverses for similar results. Auburn missed tackles all night, especially during kickoff coverage. To the credit of the defense, they did intercept Kansas State twice and forced one fumble for a touchdown. They missed two or three other interception opportunities, though.

These guys should never have had reason to celebrate.

Auburn’s offense had a disappointing showing as well. Brandon Cox looked a little better than last season. Despite an inexperienced line which gave him little time to settle down, Cox completed 17 of 30 passes for 229 yards. However, most of his completions were to receivers who were wide open and forced them to come back for the catch. It didn’t help that some of the passes which were on target were blatantly dropped (including one in the end zone).

Tuberville had better get to work before South Florida shows up next Saturday. This season could be a painful way to end my career in the student section of Jordan-Hare. At least the completely revamped kicking staff wasn’t a problem.

“Why are we so bad right now?” a distraught and incredulous Tuberville asks his team.

Appalachian State 34, Michigan 32: Ha ha ha…this is hilarious and unbelievable at the same time. No team from I-AA has beaten a ranked I-A oppenent since the divisions were created in 1978. In a poll on ESPN.com, 42% called this the greatest upset in college football history. I think I agree. It’s a shame this had to come at the beginning of the season, because everything else is going to pale in comparison.

28-14. Wolverine fans worldwide begin to fear.

I’ll spare you the recap. If you didn’t watch SportsCenter at all yesterday, this should get you up to speed. On a side note, some ASU students ripped a goal post out of their own stadium, which holds 85% less people than the Big House, and left it in the university chancellor’s driveway.


The action continues tomorrow as Florida State travels to Clemson (8 PM ET, ESPN). Saturday’s slate features some interesting interconference games, including:

West Virginia at Marshall (11:10 AM ET, ESPN),
Miami (FL) at Oklahoma (12 PM ET, ABC),
Nebraska at Wake Forest (12 PM ET, ESPN),
Oregon at Michigan (3:30 PM ET, ABC) (ha ha ha),
and Virginia Tech at LSU (9:15 PM ET, ESPN).

It looks like we’ll have to wait until week three for the major intraconference battles to begin. See you again next Sunday!

Also: I was wrong about Tennessee/California. Darn.