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The Final Countdown

Well, my rivalry predictions weren’t quite as bad as I thought they’d be. I was actually 4-0 going into Thanksgiving with confidence to spare. When Texas A&M pulled off the upset in Austin, I switched to the LSU/Arkansas game on CBS with hopes of an undefeated weekend. Then, the following words came back to haunt me:

“McFadden, Jones, and Monk will destroy the Tiger defense and prepare for a showdown with the Gators in Atlanta.” Well, McFadden and Jones certainly showed up. The Razorbacks actually lost due to the inefficiency of quarterback Casey Dick. I’m still trying to figure out why Arkansas tried four consecutive pass plays. I guess that’s why it pays to have a balanced offense.

“I think the Yellow Jackets have a little more incentive, don’t you?” Tech turned in a performance against Georgia that was just as uninspired as Auburn’s. As a result, they lost.

“The luck of the Irish will overcome USC’s 31-game home win streak, and it will be beautiful.” None of my predictions were more off than this one. USC dominated Notre Dame with the arms of John David Booty, Steve Smith, and Dwayne Jarrett. The Irish secondary looked awful, and Brady Quinn’s response to the Trojan offense, while impressive, was not enough.

Charlie Weis, get rid of the hoodie. You look like a bum.

Now that those are out of the way, it’s time for me to make some more ridiculous predictions (all times Eastern):

The ACC Championship, Wake Forest vs. Georgia Tech (ABC, 1 PM): Calvin Johnson has been shut down all year, and Reggie Ball hasn’t done too well without him. Wake Forest hasn’t put up many points either this year. I’m expecting a close defensive struggle. Neither team will score more than thirty points, but it’s impossible to pick the winner. No one seems to want the ACC title this year.

The Army/Navy game (CBS, 2:30 PM): Looking at their records and common opponents, I’d put money on Navy. Will these two teams will ever matter again nationally? Nope. I’m predicting the announcers will use the word “tradition” at least thrice during the broadcast.

USC at UCLA (ABC, 4:30 PM): USC returns to the Rose Bowl nearly eleven months after Vince Young denied them a second straight national championship. UCLA almost upset Notre Dame at home, but USC just smashed Notre Dame, so that doesn’t mean much. The Trojans will win, but I will get my hopes up anyway and spend the entire game yelling at the television.

The SEC Championship, Florida vs. Arkansas (CBS, 6 PM): Will Arkansas rebound from a close loss to LSU? Will Florida rebound from a string of flat offensive performances? Both will probably happen, making this matchup the best game of the day. I’m pulling for Florida for the sake of BCS controversy, but the Razorbacks will probably be so upset about last week that they’ll win.

Rutgers at West Virginia (ESPN, 7:45 PM): Both of these teams lost to lackluster opponents last week. If Rutgers wins, they get a BCS bid. If Rutgers loses, Louisville gets it. Thankfully, the nation is disinterested in the Big East again. I can now refocus my slander efforts on the Pac-10.

The Big 12 Championship, Oklahoma vs. Nebraska (ABC, 8 PM): Texas gave away the Big 12 South, so now Oklahoma gets to play the Cornhuskers in what may be the most interesting Big 12 Championship this decade. I’m predicting Oklahoma to win, but that’s only because I’m feeling too lazy to look into the statistics.

Finally, why doesn’t the Big Ten pick up Notre Dame and split into divisions? (Sure, the Pac-10 and Big East don’t have them, but they both play a full round-robin schedule. You don’t need a championship to decide who’s the best when everyone plays everyone else.) The Irish already play four Big Ten teams a year. They’d have to give up their service academy/bottom of the Pac-10 schedule, but they could still play USC every year.

Oh man, it’s the last week of the regular season. I wish it hadn’t come so soon. Soak it up while you can!

Your Turkey Weekend Viewing Guide

Let us give thanks that there will be a college game tonight, even if it is Boston College – Miami. I want to fall asleep every time I watch an NFL game, and I was watching the FOX pregame show earlier for the 4:30 game and just remembered how much I really hate Joe Buck.

As I mentioned, we have BC-Miami tonight on ESPN for the usual Thursday night time slot. You’ll probably see that Doug Flutie hail mary about 20 times, but that aside BC shouldn’t need any miracles against a down-and-out Miami team.

Since there’s games on Friday and Saturday, I’ll do a double feature for them. Since I’m at home, this’ll reflect games shown here, but times will still be Eastern.

Friday, noon – Texas A&M @ Texas (ABC): If there were at Kyle Field, I might give the Aggies a chance. Otherwise, Texas should roll. But what a way to start off the day!

2:30 – LSU vs. Arkansas (CBS): Doesn’t count for the SEC standings, but possibly were the SEC stands in terms of BCS bids. LSU might be able to sow one up if they win, but it looks better if Arkansas heads into the SEC title game with 1 loss.

3:30 – Colorado @ Nebraska (ABC): Nothing at stake here, Huskers roll.
Oregon @ Oregon State (FSN): The Civil War has some bowl position at stake here – OSU has proven to be the better team since their victory over USC. A win or loss for either team doesn’t effect USC that much.

9:00 – Fresno St. @ Louisiana Tech (ESPN2): Uh, okay. I think this was schedule back when no one had any idea Fresno St. would suck as badly as they do this year.

Saturday, noon:

  • Florida @ Florida State (ABC): FSU lost 30-0 to Wake a couple weeks ago at Doak Campbell. Is there really anything else to say here?
  • South Carolina @ Clemson (ESPN): It’s been a relatively disappointing season for both these teams. Clemson looked like a legit top-10 contender after destroying GT, but got destroyed themselves @VPI. South Carolina lacks a signature win this season, and I have my doubts they’ll be able to get it in Death Valley.
  • USF @ West Virginia (ESPN2): Uh, okay.

12:30 – Kentucky @ Tennessee (local SEC station): Will Tennessee suffer another devastating loss to the dregs of the SEC East this year? Kentucky is bowl-eligible this year and not completely horrible. Tennessee shouldn’t have any issues, but we’ll see what happens.

2:30 – Oklahoma @ Oklahoma St. (FSN): This is one of those throw-out-the-record book rivalries. Always at stake and always insane. Does OU still remember the 2001 season, where a 4-7 OSU team beat Oklahoma? OSU is 6-5 this year, but they always get up for this game (to continue using bad cliches).

3:30:

  • Georgia Tech @ Georgia (CBS): Hopefully we’ll run all over them like they’re Wake Forest or Maryland or somebody.
    I’ll serenade you with some songs. The second two correspond to the two played in the video.
    To hell, to hell with Georgia!
    To hell, to hell with Georgia!
    To hell, to hell with Georgia!
    The cesspool of the South!
    —–
    Oh well, it’s…..
    Up with the White and Gold
    Down with the Red and Black
    Georgia Tech is out for a victory
    We’ll drop our battle axe on Georgia’s head
    When we meet her our team is sure to beat her!
    And down on the farm there’ll be no sound
    ‘Till our bow-wows rip through the air!
    And after the battle, Georgia’s team will be found
    With the Yellow Jackets swarming ’round!
    ——
    I’m a Ramblin Wreck from Georgia Tech and a helluva engineer
    A helluva, helluva, helluva eingeer
    Like all the jolly good fellows
    I drink my whiskey clear
    I’m a Ramblin Wreck from Georgia Tech and a helluva engineer

    Oh, I wish I had a daughter sir
    I’d dress her in the White and Gold
    Put her on the campus to cheer the brave and bold
    But if I had a son sir
    I’d tell you what he’d do
    He’d yell, “TO HELL WITH GEORGIA” like his daddy used to do!

    Oh, I wish I had a barrel of rum and sugar three thousand pounds
    A college bell to put it in, a clapper to stir it ’round
    I’d drink to all the jolly good fellows who come from far and near
    ‘Cause a I’m a ramblin’, gamblin’, HELLUVA ENGINEER, HEY!

  • Louisville @ Pittsburgh (ESPN): Pitt isn’t horrible this year, but they’re not good either and UL should win this one going away.

4:15 – Boise St. @ Nevada (ESPN2): This is the best (and last) chance for BSU to lose. Should, they? No. But the Wolfpack is a pretty decent team and with the game in Reno they should stand a chance to pull the upset.

6:00 – Arizona St. @ Arizona (FSN): Each of these teams has had their ups and downs this year, but this is always a pretty decent game, and with each team at 6-5, this year should be no exception.

7:45 – Wake Forest @ Maryland (ESPN): This for all the ACC Atlantic marbles. I think I spelled it out below, but I’ll do it again: If Wake wins, they’re in. If those lose, then if BC wins tonight they’re in. If BC loses, then and only then could UMD go.

8:00 – Notre Dame @ USC (ABC): This is always one of those where I’m not sure who to root for. USC does have the song girls, and a USC loss to ND doesn’t help anyone. For maximum BCS chaos, USC needs to beat ND but lose to UCLA, which knocks both USC and ND out of the title game picture (though their loss to Michigan really hurts ND’s chances anyway).

That’s all folks. I hope you enjoy your turkey tonight and give some thanks. I don’t really recommend shopping tomorrow because, after all, it’s cold, the traffic is bad, and hey, there’s football on!

And TO HELL WITH GEORGIA!