Week Fourteen

Note: I will no longer include pictures in these posts, because formatting them with captions in Blogger is tedious.

The college football season is way too short. Fans are offered only fourteen out of fifty-two weeks to enjoy the greatest sport in the world (unless you count the bowl season). I say that’s not enough. If it were up to me, college football would be played in the spring, too. Each team would play a total of twenty-four games. The doubled air time would be well worth the exponential spike in player injuries that would occur. As an added bonus, baseball would get much less attention from the sports media.

Anyway, you probably didn’t direct your browser to this note in order to read me whine. LSU dropped another triple-overtime thriller to Arkansas. The upset may have led to Nutt’s contact extension (which he turned down for a lucrative position at Ole Miss [!?]). It also destroyed the Tigers’ championship hopes, in all likelihood. LSU can still secure a trip to the Sugar Bowl with a win over Tennessee (4, CBS), but the title game is now a very long shot.

In contrast, some other Tigers are one win away from a trip to New Orleans. Thanks to their 36-28 victory over rising star Kansas, Missouri is scheduled to face Oklahoma this Saturday for the Big 12 title (8, ABC). Chase Daniel vaulted his team over West Virginia to the No. 1 spot in the BCS. The Mountaineers attempted to prevent the coup with a 66-21 slaughter of Connecticut. Unfortunately for Rodriguez, the BCS realized that crushing a team in New England means about as much as lapping a baby in a mile race.

Ohio State benefited the most from this week’s shakeup. A loss by Missouri or West Virginia gives the Buckeyes a chance to redeem their embarrassment at the hands of the Florida Gators. It is unlikely that 4-7 Pittsburgh will topple the Mountaineers (7:45, ESPN), so Jim Tressel should start praying now for the Sooners to overwhelm the Tiger defense. Georgia and Virginia Tech, who each took care of their in-state rivals, need both of the top two to lose to have a shot. (The Hokies would also have to overcome Boston College (1, ABC).)

In other news, Nebraska demonstrated defensive ineptitude once more and allowed Colorado to drop 65 points on them. Bill Callahan, the Alec Baldwin doppleganger of Division I-A, was fired soon after the game. Boston College defeated Miami for the first time since the Flutie miracle, and Tennessee rode another SEC East overtime matchup to a win.

Their backup 11 of 39 passing, Oregon was unable to score against UCLA. Surprisingly, the Bruin quarterbacks were even worse, completing 4 of 17. Like much of the Pac-10, both teams are active this Saturday. Oregon hopes to save face in the Civil War against Oregon State (4:30, ESPN2), and UCLA looks to taint another Trojan season (4:30, ABC).

And now, some coverage of the little guys. Florida Atlantic and Troy are going to duke it out for the Sun Belt (the “Best of the Worst” title), Miami (OH) and Central Michigan for the MAC, and Tulsa and Central Florida for Conference USA (what a presumptious name). Florida International, the only winless team at this point, hosts North Texas in hopes of avoiding an ultimate disgrace.

Hotshot Hawaii defeated Boise State to claim the WAC Championship (doesn’t the name of their conference say it all?) and a #12 BCS ranking. The Warriors host Washington, who at 4-8 don’t look very threatening. Apparently the Huskies knew in advance they wouldn’t make a bowl and scheduled a trip to the island (like Alabama did a few years ago).

Speaking of Alabama, did anyone watch their game a few nights ago? I think they lost to their in-state rival for the sixth year in a row. That’s what I read, anyway. Oh wait, I did see that game in person. Witnessing another Iron Bowl victory by Auburn from the 25-yard line was well worth the five hours I spent at the stadium before the game. I’d like to thank my fiancee Laura for waiting with me; it was truly an act of love.

Finally, this hilarious quote by ESPN.com writer Ivan Maisel: “…as for the theory that Nick Saban is whipping Alabama into shape, Tuberville just continues to whip Alabama.” War Eagle!

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