This Weekend in College Football: Week 7

As usual, all times Eastern and all predictions wrong.

Noon:

  • Nebraska @ Northwestern (ABC): The forecast for Scott Frost’s first win as Nebraska’s head coach looks cloudy. But hey, how about a distraction?
  • Florida @ Vanderbilt (ESPN): I guess Florida is good? Or at least okay? Definitely better than Vandy, though.
  • Iowa @ Indiana (ESPN2): There’s a Hooiser fan out there somewhere is mad that Kentucky now has both a good football team and basketball team, while Indiana arguably has neither.
  • Minnesota @ Ohio State (FS1): Buckeyes.
  • Oklahoma State @ Kansas State (ESPNU): Sooners.
  • Tennessee @ Auburn (SEC): Hey, uh, TIgers, um, what are you doing? Everyone’s worried about y’all. The thing you’re supposed to be good at is offense, and you are not good at it this year! I had to momentarily stop to think “hey, wait a second, Tennessee might beat them”. I mean, they probably won’t, but boy howdy that’s where we’re at with Auburn right now.
  • Rutgers @ Maryland (BTN): I wonder if at the Big Ten conference offices this is known as the Regret Bowl. Did the conference ultimately benefit at all from adding these teams? I’m sure they did, but still. Anyway, Terps roll.
  • Akron @ Buffalo (CBSS): Speaking of MAC teams that have beaten Rutgers by 29 points, Bulls roll.

12:20: Duke @ Georgia Tech (Raycom): Okay, so now we know exactly how bad Louisville is (real bad). We also know how badly Paul Johnson hates traveling defensive coordinator Brian Van Gorder (real bad). That said, or defense still looks… well, I won’t say “real bad”, but you get the idea. That said, I just hope we acquit ourselves against the Blue Devils better than we did last year.

12:30: Louisville @ Boston College (ACC/RSN): Boston College might try to see if they can break the 600 yard rushing mark that we couldn’t quite get to last week. (We probably would’ve hit it, except we were down a possession in the fourth quarter due to a 95-yard pick-six.)

2:30: Pittsburgh @ Notre Dame (NBC): In case you don’t know, the corner of the Internet I hang out in has been calling Pitt to upset Notre Dame all year. So, here were are. Go Panthers.

3:30:

  • Georgia @ Louisiana State (CBS): At least Georgia and Bama will play in the SEC Championship this year.
  • Washington @ Oregon (ABC/ESPN2): Hey, Pac-12 you finally got a marquee game on in the daytime! Good job! Oh, wait, nevermind, you’re doing a reverse mirror with two AAC teams. Wonderful, great. At any rate, this should be a cracker of the game, even though I think Washington’s defense will allow it to prevail. But, that said, with it being at Autzen, I kinda wish it was at night, you know?
  • Central Florida @ Memphis (ABC/ESPN2): I’m mostly joking above because this should also be a cracker of a game. The rest of the G5 world is sort of waiting for UCF to lose, sort in the same way most of the P5 world is waiting for Alabama, Georgia, or Ohio State to lose. In the G5 scenario, it’s a bit more dire because until they lose UCF are massive favorites to return to a New Year’s Day bowl game. So, with that, I expect them to continue to prevail.
  • Baylor @ Texas (ESPN): TEXAS IS BACK. Well, okay, maybe. I mean, they’ve beaten Oklahoma before and had it not being particularly indicative of anything, which still seems like the more likely scenario. The real test are games like this, which Texas should win.
  • Purdue @ Illinois (FS1): Purdue: who knows? But hey, they’ll beat Illinois.
  • Army vs. San Jose State (@Santa Clara, CA; ESPNU): Do you know the way to… the northern reaches of Santa Clara? Yeah, not as catchy as the original, but hey if they wanna play in the Bay Area’s soulless NFL stadium, well, I guess it works just as well as getting blown out by Army in Spartan CEFCU Stadium.
  • Texas A&M @ South Carolina (SEC): Texas A&M went out and ruined a good thing (that is, Kentucky’s undefeated season). This game figures to be… really boring, honestly. Neither team is exactly full of offensive savants, and for the second week in a row it figures to pretty damp in Columbia, SC. So, I’m going with the Aggies, I guess?
  • Michigan State @ Pennsylvania State (BTN): I actually still do have BTN, but I still just have it in standard definition. Will this be the one time a year I watch it for an extended period? Honestly, I figure no, because I don’t think the Spartans are really that good, whereas Penn State was still a few plays away from being a Top-5 team.
  • Temple @ Navy (CBSS): Navy didn’t just lose to Air Force last week, they lost 35-7. That’s… bad. I’m going with Temple here.

7:00:

  • Missouri @ Alabama (ESPN): (*distant clap of thunder*) LIGHTNING ROUND! Bama.
  • Miami @ Virginia (ESPN2): Miami.
  • West Virginia @ Iowa State (FS1): Unless something weird happens ’cause AMES AFTER DARK, WVU all the way.
  • Virginia Tech @ North Carolina (ESPNU): VPI.
  • Houston @ East Carolina (CBSS): Cougars.
  • California-Los Angeles @ California (Pac12): UCLA. (Yes, you read that correctly.)

7:30:

  • Wisconsin @ Michigan (ABC): I guess I really should drop of LIGHTNING ROUND (*thunder noises*) for this game, but I mean… there’s not a whole lot of evidence that Wisconsin will be able to beat any of the Big Three Big Ten East teams this year, which is bad because they both have this and Penn State on the road. I mean, geez, you can see this scenario playing out now, right? Some bounces go the wrong way, and suddenly the Badgers have 2 or 3 conference losses and things get dicey. So as to not put too fine a point on this, but Wisconsin really needs to win this game. And honestly, I don’t think they will. (*thunder noises*) LET CHAOS REIGN IN THE BIG TEN WEST (“The Immigrant Song” begins playing out of nowhere)
  • Mississippi @ Arkansas (SEC): So, yeah, the Big Ten is the land of gray winter skies, snow, and beer. Add in a good portion of the population being of Scandinavian descent, and you have college football’s most metal conference. The SEC, well, the SEC is a lot of things, but I think most would agree metal isn’t one of them. And this game is about as far from metal as you can get. Anyway, Ole Miss should win this game for the first time since 2013.
  • Middle Tennessee State @ Florida International (beIN): MTSU figures to seize control of the CUSA East in this one.

10:15: Hawaii @ Brigham Young (ESPN2): Hey y’all, Hawaii is 6-1 and fun again. You should watch them, they figure to win!

10:30:

  • Colorado @ Southern California (FS1): Did you know the Buffs are 5-0? While it’s tough to pick them on the road, USC has, shall we say, vastly underperformed this year, so what the heck, let’s put the Pac-12 South into full chaos mode and go with Colorado here.
  • Wyoming @ Fresno State (ESPNU): Yeah, Wyoming’s not good this year.
  • Boise State @ Nevada (CBSS): Boise was knocked off their perch with a loss to San Diego State last weekend, but the Aztecs themselves are pretty good. They’re probably out of contention of the New Year’s Six spot, but they should still beat Nevada.

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